North Star Mental Fitness Blog

The Real Battle Is Inside the Mind

I read a wonderful article on Mental Fitness by Mark Salinas.  I urge you to read this article as it is loaded with mental fitness tips.

Mark wrote "athletes know their real battle is not so much on the field or track, but inside their mind". 

This quotation reminds me of a talk I had with a very skilled archer.  For 10 years, he could not get past shooting 90%.  Shooting 9 out of 10 arrows successfully sounded great to me, but not for a professional archer.  Only after studying mental fitness and sports psychology was he able to improve his shooting.

As I read what Mark wrote, I quickly realized that people's problems with their spouses, children, parents, employers or employees are not due to the other individual.  We like to blame other people and wish that they would change.  Professional athletes and athletes in the stadiums of human experience, know that the battle is inside their mind.  We must learn how to change how we think about the important people in our lives in order to change our feelings and reduce our conflicts.

From a mental fitness perspective, you can change your feelings by changing your thinking; not by trying to change the other person.  The other person does not have to make significant changes in order for us to change our feelings.  Your mental fitness can never be dependent on someone else.  Your mental fitness depends on your thinking and mind conditioning. 

Mark put it this way "it is a must that you manage your mental state".

Your thinking for victorious living depends on training your mind to be fit and tough.  This is why I became a Life and Mental Fitness Coach.

Remember, You Live within the Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Coaching Passion

"I want to make sure they have passion for what we are
doing and it is not fake passion".

This was not a statement from a woman wanting to be loved by her significant other.

This was a statement from a man wanting to be sexually fulfilled in a relationship with a significant other.

This statement was made by University of Michigan Football Coach, Rich Rodriguez.  Coach wanted his players to be emotionally and physically capable of functioning at peak performances.  He wanted to weed out those who want the glory of being on the team, but were not willing to work hard enough to be champions.

I pondered this statement as I realized how relevant it was for any team or relationship.  Just being on the team is not enough for passion. 

Is the mere presence of being on the team "fake passion"? 

If a person is not willing to push him or herself, work hard and prepare to become a champion, does it mean they have "fake passion"?

Is coach Rodriguez right?

Is it necessary to work hard, prepare to overcome frustrations, and be physically and mentally fit in order to be passionate?

From a mental fitness perspective, it is important to think thoughts that will generate passion.

It doesn't matter what game it is.  What matters is training and learning to think in a way to generate passion!

Remember, We Live with Passion Or Lack of Passion Created by the Choices We Make!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

 

There Is a Cure for Choking And Loss of Momentum

"Tonight I was playing in the finals of a local tournament and missed the nineball in two games. Due to these misses, I came in second place.

Is there a cure for this disease?"

 

This was the gut wrenching plea from a frustrated billiard player, who wrote "Choking nine balls? Help!

 

Is there a cure for choking and loss of momentum?

Choking and loss of momentum are seen on a daily basis in every sport.  Errors and mistakes are inevitable and part of amateur and professional sports. 

Phil Rogers of the Chicago Tribune humorously wrote about choking by one of baseball's super stars, Soriano:

Is Your Passion Real?

"Why don't I do when I know I should"?

This was a question asked by one of my very astute clients.  She has been struggling with learning how to take care of herself when she anticipates or experiences criticisms from others.

I'm quite sure that there are many answers to this question.  My client knows she must be performing her mental exercises to become stronger than her problems and strong enough to overcome criticism from others.  Yet, she finds herself unable to maintain focused thinking about her self.  It is so foreign and so hard for her to focus on "caring for herself".

When I listened to University of Michigan Football Coach, Rich Rodriquez, he talked about part of the solution.  Coach Rodriquez put it this way about his team:

Go for a Super Goal

Have you ever felt bored in your relationships, work and personal life?

Have you lost motivation, momentum and emotional excitement in the daily routines of your life?

I read a very interesting article by Sarah Wassner Flynn from SHEKNOWS.  The name of her article was GET MOTIVATED TO GET FIT.

As I read her article about how to get motivated in order to become physically fit, I realized that she also had a great idea for revitalizing our everyday living, relationships and activities.

Play To Win; Not to Lose

The University of Michigan football team is undergoing a transition period.  There has been a coaching change.  Hopefully there will also be a change in motivation and psychology.

Lloyd Carr has a wonderful reputation as a coach.  He has been well-liked by his players, fellow coaches and most people he has met.  He has been a role model for running a football program with morals.

Unfortunately, Coach Carr appeared to motivate his team with the philosophy to not lose.  As a result the team game plans were entirely predictable, unimaginative and way too conservative.  His game plans built on the philosophy to not lose prevented his teams from beating teams who were motivated creatively and imaginatively to win.

Too often, people are like conservative coaches.  We play our lives not lose.  We do not play our lives to win!  We motivate ourselves to not make mistakes rather than taking the risk of going beyond our comfort zones.  We do not set goals for self-actualization, instead settling for its self-preservation.

Professional Sports, Just Cause and the FLDS

After reading numerous blogs and viewing the never ending television programs regarding the sexual, physical and emotional abuse of some, if not all of 400 children and women by the FLDS sect, I was disgusted with the explanation for why nothing has been done for years.  The explanation was that governmental agencies lacked "just cause".

I may be simplistic.  Just knowing that such abuse was occurring and institutionalized by the FLDS sect should have been "just cause".  Just knowing that this form of slavery was occurring should have been "just cause" for protective actions by the state or federal government.

Why did a young teenager, the Rosa Parks from the FLDS sect have to provide "just cause" for intervening and rescuing these abused and brainwashed children and women?

Kansas Won the Mental Game

Kansas is the 2008 NCAA basketball champions.  Trailing by three points as time was running out of the game, Mario Chalmers made a Michael Jordan like three point shot to send the game into overtime.

Both Memphis and Kansas are champion quality basketball teams.  Both teams were well coached.  Both teams had players with excellent physical fitness and abilities.  Both teams had been both mentally and physically fit or they would not have reached the championship game.

In the championship game, I believe Kansas won, because they showed greater mental fitness and toughness. 

Boren Divorces Michigan Football Team

Divorces and blending family issues occur in sports as well in families.  Lloyd Carr resigned as coach of the U of Michigan football team and most of his coaches were not rehired.  Some players including potential stars left the team.  Justin Boren and his team remained with their mother, the U of Michigan.

Problems really started brewing when the new step-father, Rich Rodriquez divorced West Virginia to take over the leadership role at U of M.  Even now, Coach Rod is still in the middle of a very messy divorce from West Virginia with the unfortunate allegations and legal entanglements common in divorce. 

The mother or U of M football hired Coach Rod to change the culture and family values at the U of M.  Too many losses to Ohio State, underdogs liked Appalachian State, spread offenses and bowl games.  Like so many sons and daughters in families of divorce, Justin Boren and some of his teammates did not like the new father figure changing the family dynamics and culture.  Coach Rod has become the "evil step-father" pushing the mother's "lax children" to greater achievement through hard work, strict rules and new expectations.

Justin like many children in divorce has verbally acted-out and ran away from home.   

Silda Spitzer Standing Strong and Standing Up Elliott

Heartbreak!  Heart broken!  Her dreams broken!  Her life twisted and  turned upside down by the whirlwind disclosures of her husband's infidelity.  The essence of her marriage destroyed.

Holding in her pain as seen in her face and facing the entire world and media, she stood strong and committed to herself and her role. 

From a mental fitness and mental toughness perspective, I admire and respect Silda Spitzer.  Let's get it right.  Our eyes betray us and pictures did not tell the complete story.  Silda Spitzer is not and was not standing behind Eliot.

Silda Spitzer has been standing with her husband throughout his career. 

Silda Spitzer has been standing in front of her husband throughout his career.  She has been his solace, coach, guide and resource person.  What we see in the famous pictures is not Silda standing behind Eliot. Instead, we once again see Silda behind the scenes standing up Eliot!