North Star Mental Fitness Blog

The Tiger Mindset

Tiger Woods has failed to maintain his elite status in the golfing world, since his return to the golfing circuit.  Mick Elliott at FANHOUSE called Tiger's current season his "winless season" in Mick's article "Tiger's Par-5 Game Still Isn't up to Par".

Tiger's golf game has been a disaster since his moral indiscretions and marital conflicts became big news. 

Mick showed how bad it has been for Tiger. "Ten times since 1997 Woods has finished in the top 10 on the PGA Tour on birdie-or-better conversions on par 5s. This year there are 53 players in front of his 43 percent conversion rate".

Tiger described his fall

Mindsets For Success

What motivates you?  What is your mindset?  Your mindset is important in every aspect of your life.

We have a very depressing economy.  The value of our property is depreciating due to the mortgage fiasco.  Many people are worried about maintaining their employment or have lost their employment.  Financial pressures magnify problems within marriages and families.

Your mindset determines your financial, interpersonal and psychological status in your life!  Today I would like to talk about three different mindsets.

When things go bad in life, many people often exercise the mindset of "not losing".  They seem to have a mindset that says "I don't want to lose".  Although this mindset may be appropriate at some times in our lives, it usually results in people becoming defensive and protective of themselves and their resources.  They try to hold on to what they have rather than increasing what they have.  They try to hold onto who they have been rather than growing and changing.  They are motivated to not lose rather than to win!

The second mindset is a mindset to win.  With this mindset a person is motivated and dedicated to win.  No matter how bad the circumstances are, this person is motivated to win at all costs.  You probably have heard the saying "when the going gets tough, the tough get going"!  With this mindset, people, often times, are obsessed with winning.  They view life as competition and they always have to win.  They seem to not enjoy what they accomplish and who they are.  They are devastated when they cannot win.

The third mindset is a mindset leading to self-actualization and growth.  Problems in living are perceived to be opportunities; opportunities for learning, changing and growing.  Dr. Alan Goldberg put it this way "You must let go of that obsessive need to win or beat others (which is actually limiting you) and instead focus on being the very best that YOU can be. Simply put you must make your goal improvement, NOT winning.

Steve Siebold writes about the differences in mindsets between the middle class and millionaires in his new book, How Rich People Think.   Steve wrote  "It's no mystery why 1% of Americans own 42% of the country's wealth. The good news is the rich are no smarter than the rest of us, they just think differently about money. The secret is to learn their thought processes, habits and philosophies and copy them. It's that simple, and this is what this book is all about."

In your relationships, are you:

1. Trying to not lose?
2. Trying to win?
3. Trying to grow and be yourself?

In your financial life, are you:

1. Trying to not lose?
2. Trying to win?
3. Trying to grow and be yourself?Remember,

Remember, We Live within the Relationship and Finances Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

The Army Validates Mental Fitness

Brig. Gen. Rhonda Cornum, Director of Comprehensive Soldier Fitness confirmed that the Army has realized the importance of mental fitness.  At www.Army.Mil C. Todd Lopez quoted Gen. Cornum frequently in his article "Soldiers learn to impart mental toughness on others".

Brig. General Cornum compared physical and mental fitness.  "Mental fitness is like physical fitness: lifelong and ongoing".

I have emphasized that with mental fitness training people can be stronger than their problems.  Brig. Gen. Cornum emphasized the purpose of mental fitness training by saying "resiliency, or mental toughness, is part of the Army's larger "Comprehensive Soldier Fitness" program, that aims to ensure Soldiers are as mentally tough as they are physically tough".

Mental Fitness is the result of mental fitness training.  Brig. Gen. Cornum was quoted as saying regarding mental fitness "It is not something that you can do once, any more than you can get physically fit by one trip to the gym. This is not an individual single event. It is a way of looking at your psychological health as important as your physical health." 

What is mental fitness?  It is learning different thinking skills according to Brig. Gen. Cornum.  Mental fitness training makes people stronger and fit by learning powerful thoughts and how to think adaptively and quickly.  For example, in the North Star Mental Fitness Program There are 15 thinking skills that can be learned, applied to solve any problem or make a person mentally stronger and fit. 

Mental fitness training is for the average citizen as well as for the military.  The average citizen as well as military personnel must avoid self-defeating behavior and engage in successful behaviors in difficult circumstances.  Mental fitness training and resiliency training helps people cope with everyday problems and not allow problems to overwhelm us.

"Cornum said resiliency is a way of thinking that allows Soldiers not to fall into self-defeating traps. It takes a developed and resilient mind, she said, to put money problems, relationship issues, health issues, or tragedy on the battlefield into perspective, so a Soldier can continue with the mission and with life.

"Resilience is a way of thinking -- you apply optimistic thinking to a problem," she said. "It is really a difference between, for instance, when you invite somebody for a date and they say no, resilient people think 'their loss -- I'll do better next time.' What they don't think is 'nobody will ever like me. I'm worthless.' That's really what it is. It teaches you to remember that problems are temporary, that they are local." 

Mental fitness has been validated by the Army.  Mental fitness training can help you become stronger than your problems and not allow your problems to deter you from enjoying your life.  I believe that people need mental fitness training to cope with rough economic times as well as the emotionally painful problems in everyday living.

Is it time for you to invest and mental fitness training?

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Soriano and the Slumping Cubs

The Chicago Cubs have become synonymous with "slumping", "choking", and "pressing".  All terms used to describe mental thought processes that create a loser's mindset, loss of momentum and underachievement.

Carrie Muskat /  MLB.com wrote a very relevant post entitled "Slumping Soriano aims to clear his mind".  In this article Carrie interviewed Soriano, who concluded "Sometimes, you can think too much. Alfonso Soriano says that may be what's happening to him lately."

For many people who are "stuck" and have lost their momentum in life, they sometimes think too much.  Usually, however, the problem is not that they are thinking too much.

The problem is that they are thinking "wrong thoughts".  As is the case with Soriano, there is a realistic basis to some of his "wrong thinking".  Thinking is "wrong" when it programs our minds for failure and underachievement.

Let us look at Soriano's hitting this year.  In fact, we can look at most of the Cubs hitters such as M. Bradley, M. Fontenot, K. Fukudome, G. Soto, A. Miles, R. Johnson, A. Blanco, A. Ramirez and K. Hill.  All of these hitters are slumping and have been slumping almost the entire season so far.

According to Soriano, he has never struggled for this long.  In June his batting average was below 200.  Obviously this is not acceptable to him or any major league hitter.  Soriano told Carrie he needs to "clean" his mind.  He is so right!

Soriano admitted that "I worry".  Again a realistic response to hitting below 200 for entire month, but the "wrong" way to think if you want to be successful major league hitter.

Soriano expressed his dilemma.  He believes physically he is playing his game as well as he has in the past. 

Soriano stated "his swing looks the same now as it did last year and two years ago. He isn't changing his bat, or switching routines, or trying to find the right pregame egg salad sandwich. One good thing is that Soriano is healthy physically."

What has gone wrong?  It's how he has been thinking about his abysmal performance!

Two mistakes are evident in his thinking.

1. He has been thinking to avoid being hurt rather than maximizing his functioning. "I've been working hard to not get hurt get hurt this year."  Playing to not get hurt will result in under achievement.
2. Soriano is allowing his "poor hitting performance" to control his mind rather than allowing his "good hitting thinking" to determine his performance. Soriano said. "I'm not hurt physically, but I'm hurt mentally because I'm not hitting well."

From a mental fitness perspective we cannot allow our performance and especially our past blunders in performance to determine how we think about ourselves.  As the case with the Chicago Cubs, their failure to hit results in self-doubt, worry, anxiety, pressing, or choking.  Filling their minds with these thoughts certainly will kill momentum and guarantee under performance.

If you want to break a "slump" or stop "pressing", change how you think!  Don't allow your under performance to determine how you think.  No matter how bad your performance has been, detach your thinking from your poor performances.  Focus your thinking on your identity as a successful person and focus on playing within your ability.

Remember, Professional Baseball Hitters Live within the Environment Created by Their Thinking about Their Hitting.

Remember, We Live within the Environment Created by Our Choices!

 

Dr. Hal

 

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Susan Boyle Is a Winner!

In spite of losing Britain's Got Talent competition, worldwide favorite Susan Boyle is a champion.  She not only sang her signature song, "I Dreamed a Dream", she lived her dream! 

The Legacy of Legendary Basketball Coach Chuck Daly

At age 78, Chuck Daly died.  He will be remembered as one of the best basketball coaches in the history of the sport.  He led the "US Dream Team" to a gold medal in the 1992 Olympics.  He led the Detroit Pistons, who were known as the "Bad Boys", to 2 NBA championships.  Although he will be remembered as a very successful coach, his wish to be remembered as a "nice guy" will never die.

Coach Daly's coaching philosophy evolved from being strict, demanding perfection and "playing by the book".  He realized he needed to know his players before he could teach what he wanted them to know.

The Daily News wrote:  "Unlike most coaches, who are first-degree control freaks, Daly never stole the spotlight. Like any good boss, Daly always trusted his talent, and knew his guys would find a way to win".

 Dave Dye, New Staff Writer, wrote an interesting article regarding the evolution in Chuck Daly's coaching.  Although the article appeared on October 18, 1985, it is very enlightening regarding the secret of Coach Daly success.

Dave Dye wrote:

But not always did this adaptability come so naturally. Daly recalls many moments during the beginning of his coaching career at Punxsutawney (Pa.) High School when he exhibited more of a Bob Knight tough-guy demeanor than his own easy-going style that's made him so popular and successful within the NBA circle. "To be honest, that's probably one of the biggest things I had to overcome," said Daly, whose team opens the regular season Oct. 25 against Milwaukee at the Silverdome.

"You're constantly fighting your own ego. That was one of the hardest things for me. In high school, I was very, very strict. I thought I had to be the hard guy. If one of the kids didn't play aggressively one day, I'd make him wear a towel around himself the next. It looked like a dress, and it told him he was a sissy.

"I learned over the years, though, and I became more open-minded. I remember when I was a (biology) teacher. I used to be so organized and strict in taking attendance. And I did everything straight out of the book. I thought that was being such a good teacher. At the same school, there was another guy who was really laid-back. It didn't seem like he was doing anything. He told them stories and there didn't seem to be any control in the class. At least compared to some of our classes. But we found out later he was the best teacher. The kids related to him better and did the work. I think that opened up my eyes quite a bit.

Daly's coaching philosophy has been based on that criteria. Vince Lombardi would shudder, but Daly is more or less one of the guys. At practices, he often jokes around. He can be seen practicing imaginary golf shots or trying to bounce a basketball off the floor into the hoop.

"In this business a lot of people get treated badly," said Piston Vinnie Johnson. "It means something when you know there's a guy you can trust. Some coaches are afraid to get involved with that type of relationship. They feel the players may take advantage of them then. They have to try to scare you into doing things. But that's not how it works here."

Said Thomas: "We do more for him because of that. He's helped me with things off the court. You don't forget that when you're out there."

Unlike many coaches, Daly doesn't see getting close to his players as a dangerous practice. "This is such a long grind, there are many nights they don't have to play (hard)," he said. "You better be a reason for them to do that. Anyhow, I'm not as nice as everybody always says. I put my foot down when I have to. But I just see no reason why there has to be a constant conflict if you can avoid it."

All of us can learn from Coach Daly regarding the psychology of relationship-based success.  We can apply his coaching philosophy in parenting, business and family relationships.

We will miss Chuck Daly.  We will remain appreciative of his successes and what he has taught us.

Burn the Boats

Queme los barcos," or "Burn the Boats, because defeat is not an option".

Hernando Cortes was a conquistador and explorer who sailed to the New World in attempt to find treasure.  Many great leaders had failed before Hernando came along.  Hernando trained his soldiers during the day and built their morale at night.

When the time came for fighting and accomplishing their goal, Hernando told his men to burn their boats.  He went on to emphasize that defeat and retreat were not options.  He reassured his men and challenged them to be victorious.  Following their victory he reasoned, they would sail back in the enemy's boats.

Recently the University of Michigan's basketball team surprised many by beating Minnesota on their home floor.  This victory was necessary in order to enter the big dance at the end of the season.  Coach Beilein challenged the team by talking about burning the boats, because defeat was not an option.

This quote was mentioned in an article by CJ Lee, senior guard, in an article entitled Court Vision with C.J. Lee: Live Life without Regrets. 

From a mental fitness perspective, C.J. Lee understands what it takes to be victorious.  It takes a total commitment to your goal and the belief that failure and defeat are not options. 

Remember, We Live within the Environment Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

 

Sudden Change: Psychologically Coping with Economic and Political Losses

How do you deal with devastating and catastrophic economic and political losses from a mental fitness perspective?

Let us begin with Expectation.  When you are mentally fit, you have the expectation that things can go wrong, drastically wrong.  Nothing in life is a continual high.  Although times of prosperity are more pleasing to our psyche, we must expect that there will be good times as well as bad times.  We cannot be prepared for life if we do not have an Expectation that there will be good and bad times economically and politically in our lives.

Secondly, there is Acceptance.  When you are mentally fit, you accept the reality and normalcy of highs and lows in our lives.  It is important to accept the fact that there will be economical and political losses in our lives.  Painful emotions associated with losses can be filtered and lessened by applying  Acceptance.  Acceptance is not the same as liking.  We can accept economic and political losses and still not like them.

Recognition is the third concept.  Expectation and acceptance of the realities of life are useless if we cannot recognize the signals and nature of economic and political losses.  Too often we become complacent.  Too often we deny and rationalize when things are beginning to go wrong.  We must be aware and vigilant in recognizing economic and political losses.  When economic and political losses descend upon us, we must recognize them before we can take constructive action.

The world of sports provides great analogies and strategies for coping with economic and political losses.  In sports the concept of momentum is important.  It is important to generate momentum and keep momentum going, even when momentum breakers occur.

In our economic and political aspects of our lives, it is important to maintain momentum, when we have times of economic and political losses.  The mortgage crisis, credit freeze, political and economic corruption are all potential momentum breakers.  These momentum breakers can destroy our confidence, hope and motivation.  We do not have to be defeated by these momentum breakers.

The legendary University of Michigan football coach, Bo Schembechler had a wonderful strategy for overcoming momentum breakers.  He called it "Sudden Change".  It did not matter whether the momentum breaker was a fumble or interception.  He taught and trained his players and coach to yell Sudden Change, when there was a momentum breaker.  He also instilled the belief in his players and coaches and trained them to play harder with greater commitment and passion following a momentum breaker.

It also does it matter what the momentum breaker is in our life regarding our economics and politics. 

When we have a momentum breaker in our economic and political lives, it is important to yell Sudden Change and dig in with commitment and passion to defeat the economic and political losses in our lives.  In terms of the old saying "when the going gets tough, the tough get going".

As we live in times of economic losses and perhaps political losses, let us not use our energies to fight the acceptance and reality of the losses.  Let us accept our losses and set appropriate expectations for the future regarding losses. 

Let us energize ourselves with renewed energy, renewed dreams, commitment and passion to overcome whatever economic and political obstacles occur in the process of our self-actualization in the economic and political aspects of our lives!

We must remember We Live within the Economic and Political Environment Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

It Is Not a Matter of Good or Bad Economic Times

We all know that it does matter.  It does matter financially whether we are in good or bad economic times.  It does matter whether we have a job, are making money and our investments are thriving.

So why did I entitle this post "it is not a matter of good or bad economic times"? 

This statement is made from the perspective of mental fitness.  Coaches know that they want their players to play hard with passion and commitment to their game plan throughout the whole game. 

It is not a matter whether the team is winning or losing.  When the team is winning, the coach wants the team to play hard and with passion.  When the team is losing, the coach wants to team to play hard and with passion.  Therefore, it is not a matter of winning or losing.  What is important is playing the entire game with passion, physical commitment and adherence to the game plan.

Likewise, when our economy and investments are doing well, it is important for us to maintain our focus and commitment to taking care of ourselves.  Similarly, when our economy and investments are doing poorly, it is just as important for us to maintain our focus and commitment to taking care of ourselves.

Therefore, it really is not a matter of whether we are living in good or bad economical times.  In all circumstances, we must focus on making the best decisions we can.  We must maintain our confidence and focus.  We must not give in to fear.  We must not listen to those who find problems in life rather than opportunities. 

Since it is not a matter of good or bad economic times, it is important for you to step up, make good decisions, be flexible and willing to change.  We can find opportunity in bad economic times.  We can find inner strength when others are weak.  We can't maintain our focus, commitment and hard work to improve the quality of our lives in good and bad times.

You can give in and become defeated, because of bad economic times.  Or you can become energized and determined to improve the quality of your life in difficult times. 

Remember, You Live within the Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

CURSE OR POOR MENTAL FITNESS

The Chicago Cubs again failed in their pursuit of becoming World Series champions.  Now it is over 100 years of falling short of their goal.  A lot has been written about the curse.

Is the underachieving Cub's failure to perform the result of a curse?  Or is their propensity for losing indicative of poor mental fitness?

I believe that the Cub's failure to achieve is because of poor mental fitness.  How else can you explain nine straight losses in post-season play?  The Chicago Cubs were the best team in the NL in terms of scoring runners in scoring position during the regular season.  How can you explain their failure to score more than two runs on average in six games over a two-year period?  How can you explain the extremely sloppy play from a team that was first in victories during the season?

Poor mental fitness is characterized by loss of momentum.  The Chicago Cubs lost momentum for winning prior to the beginning of the post-season play.  They rested their players and held tryouts for a reliever for post-season play.  There could be many other reasons why they lost their momentum.  For some momentum is created by winning and success. 

For champions momentum is the result of confidence derived by empowered thinking associated with mental fitness training and is not determined by winning and playing well.  Champions learn to maintain their momentum even when they play poorly and loose.

When players have poor mental fitness, momentum can be destroyed by playing poorly or losing.  Teams that have good mental fitness training, can maintain momentum even when they lose or play poorly.  The Chicago Cubs failed to show momentum in the playoffs following their wonderful season.

Poor mental fitness also results in problems with confidence.  False confidence and lack of confidence are symptomatic of players or teams with poor mental fitness.  The Chicago Cubs played with a lack of confidence, emotion and determination.

It is important to realize that momentum and confidence are not determined by our external accomplishments or determined by circumstances like the wind blows a kite.  No matter how bad our circumstances are and no matter how successful we've been in the past, it is important to live in the present.  We need to think about ourselves and our circumstances in a way that will generate momentum and confidence. 

Without momentum and confidence, playing poorly is to be expected.  For all of us, momentum and confidence are necessary for achieving success in the benefits of success in our lives.

Remember, We Live within the Environment Created by Our Circumstances!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach