North Star Mental Fitness Blog

I WANT FREEDOM FROM

New Year's Resolutions-what has happened to your New Year's resolutions?  It does not matter what your resolutions were.  What matters is whether you are going to be successful! 

Most people will give up on their resolutions before the end of the month.  It is only two weeks into the new year.  Are you still on course to realize your dreams?

Are you celebrating each day's success toward achieving your goal?

Or has the going become tedious?  Are you struggled with quitting?

Has what you wanted turned into what you have to do? 

Do you find yourself struggling and motivating yourself out of the desperate feeling that you just have to reach your goals?

Or have you convinced yourself that you can't be successful or you really didn't want to be successful in actualizing a resolution?

The purpose of this post is to encourage you to try one of the most basic mental fitness strategies.  Don't motivate yourself out of what you "should" do or "have" to do.  Motivate yourself out of freedom!  Motivate yourself out of what you want!

As I have said before, if you motivate yourself out of words that we use to punish, you will not reach long-range and permanent success.  We do not want to equate your successful endeavors with a feeling of punishment.  No one likes to be punished forever.  If success feels like punishment, then success turns into failure when we no longer want to be punished.

I would like to have you consider motivating yourself with the words "I want freedom from".  Some of you may want freedom from being obese.  Others may want freedom from smoking or any addiction.  Still others may want freedom from being unfaithful.  Others may want freedom from anger and rage.  Many want freedom from despair and depression.  There are many people want freedom from anxiety.  Many many of us want freedom poor health.

No matter what your problem is, you can motivate yourself by thinking that you want freedom from your problem.  In fact, that more you think about becoming free from your problem the more freedom you will experience. 

To refresh your mind, repeat the thought "I want freedom from this problem"frequently throughout the day. 

When you have the opportunity to actualize or destroy your dream, verbalize to yourself "I want freedom from this problem". 

Before long you may surprise yourself.  You will begin to feel the excitement, energy and courage generated by freedom.  You'll have the power of freedom to overcome your problem.

If You Can ’ t Be Honest, You Can ’ t Change!

There are many ways that people "mess up" their lives.  Unfortunately, " when many people try to stop "messing up", they "mess up"?

One of the biggest ways people "mess up" is by not being honest!

If we are "messing up" in some part of our lives, it is not an accident.  We are either consciously or unconsciously choosing to "mess up" or failing to make choices to stop "messing up". 

People who fail to stop "messing up" are oftentimes in denial.  They are focusing on what they feel they need to do to solve their problem, rather than being aware and honest with themselves regarding their problem.

Let me provide you with an example.  Some people "mess up" by over-eating or eating the wrong foods.  Overweight people frequently talk about wanting to diet.  Let us be honest, do overweight people really want to diet or do they really want to overeat?  In order to lose weight, a person must be consciously aware of wanting to over-eat.  If a person remembers that he or she wants to over-eat, they can make conscious choices to over-eat or eat less.  Conscious choices will be more successful, when we don't deny or overlook how we "mess up".

If you are a smoker, then you must be honest and consciously remember that you want to smoke.

If you are failing in achieving a goal, then you must remember that you consciously or unconsciously want to fail.

If you are violent in your relationships, then you must be honest and remember that you want to be violent.

If you can't be honest about how you are messing up and why, then you can't change!  Honestly isn't the total solution for stopping "messing up".  However, honestly is the first step and a very important step if you want to stop "messing up".

The bottom line will be:  If You Can't Be Honest, You Can't Change!

Managing Stress Poorly

There are healthy and unhealthy ways for managing stresses.

1. 43% of Americans report eating unhealthy foods or they overeat when they are stressed.


2. 36% of Americans skipped a meal, because of stress.


3. 39% of drinkers are likely to drink when stressed.


4. 19% of smokers are more likely to smoke when stressed.


5. 43% of Americans report watching tv for more than two hours a day or playing video game.


6. 39% of people surface the Internet when stressed.

These figures are from an American Psychological Association survey.

People can not get away from stress. How we manage stress is important.  Health consequences are more severe, when stresses are managed poorly.

It is important to cope with stress with healthy activities.  Unhealthy activities to reduce stress actually can create more stress and psychological distress. 

I would like to plant this seed in your mind.  It is also necessary and possible to reduce the harmful effects of stress on our health through mental fitness training.

Dr. Hal

Psychologist; Life and Fitness Coach

Mental Fitness Programming Applied to Overcome Anxiety about Surgery

The Turn Around Choice of the North Star Medal Fitness Program has been designed to reduce anxiety, panic and fear. 

In fact, this Choice can be used to reduce and manage all self-defeating behavior.  Yesterday, I taught a client how to apply the Turn Around Choice to reduce anxiety and fear about flying in an airplane.

At first he was skeptical.  Then he went through a stage of disbelief as he never thought of this approach to reduce his fear of flying.  As he began to understand how he could reduce and manage his fear of flying, he relaxed.  He felt confident.  He exclaimed that the general public should know about this procedure. 

We talked about how this procedure could be applied to solve so many problems like addictions, other fears and problems with poor impulse control. 

As we talked, I began to feel rather foolish.  I had completely forgotten to apply the choice in my own life!

You see, later this morning I will have shoulder surgery.  I had completely forgotten to master my anxiety, fears and indecision regarding the surgery with the Turn Around Choice.  I admitted my oversight to my client.

Immediately, I applied the Turn Around Choice to relax me regarding my surgery.  It worked.  Yesterday and today I have an inner calmness about the surgery.  I also know that I can use the Turn Around Choice, if my fear or panic return.

I also emphasized for my client one more fact.  Even though a person knows the secrets of mental fitness, mental fitness relief will not be experienced unless the Turn Around Choice is consciously made.

Remember, We Live within the Environment Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Why Quitting Smoking Doesn't Work

- Each day, nearly 6,000 children under 18 years of age start smoking
- Nearly 2,000 will become regular smokers.
- Annually 800,000 new smokers join the ranks of the diseased.

Approximately 90 percent of smokers begin smoking before the age of 21. According to the latest smoking statistics in 2001, a national survey of high school students revealed that the overall prevalence of current cigarette use was 28 percent. Nearly 20 percent of 12th graders, 12 percent of 10th graders and 5.5 percent of 8th graders smoke cigarettes daily. These statistics provided by Credible Reviews.

For more statistics on smoking in the text of smoking, I refer you to Smoking Statistics provided by the World Health Organization.

All these statistics indicate the need for people to stop smoking.  The reality is clear.  Smoking is bad for health and the health of others.

Although it is realistically and practically important to stop smoking, motivating yourself to "quit" or "stop" smoking is likely to fail for the following reasons: 

Wrong Solutions For Stopping Smoking Create Relapse!

I received a wonderful comment regarding my blog, Re-wiring Urges.  Lora wrote:

"I LOVED your post on re-wiring the urge to smoke.  I'm a smoker and have quit way too many times to count.  One time lasted 15 years.  So...what else do you have in your bag of tricks for smokers?  I'm all ears!"

Thank you Lora for e-mailing me such a nice comment.  After thinking for a few minutes, I reached into my bag of tricks.  Then my mind wandered back to Lora's dilemma.

Lora's dilemma is well-known to many smokers.  The dilemma is, why do people relapse?  Why can't people maintain a state of quitting?  Why can't people stop smoking forever?

What I found in my bag tricks for non-smokers may surprise you or even shock you.

The Five Second Program for Breaking Bad Habits!

The Turn Around Choice from The North Star Mental Fitness Program Is a Five Second Program for Breaking Bad Habits!

Yes, you read the statement right.  You can break bad habits, if you are willing to take five seconds out of your day when needed to break your bad habit!

Impossible you might think, but from my personal experience I know it works.  This simplistic and easy, but still unbelievably effective works, because of the unique understanding of how to break bad habits.

Here is the secret.

A Review of 6 articles: for Breaking Bad Habits

It is time again to make New Year's resolutions.  At this time of year, we are motivated to Break Bad Habits.  In order to help you make resolutions for breaking bad habits, I have reviewed the following blogs.

Adam Voiland of U.S. News and World Report explained why we make bad choices even when we know better in his article, "Want to Break a Bad Habit?  Try This".  Adam explained that we sometimes make bad choices because we want immediate gratification and do what is easiest.  He wrote the answer is to "build systems into your life that reward healthy choices or make healthy choices more convenient than unhealthy choices". 

Adam encouraged us to not forbid ourselves or others from making bad choices and to not punish ourselves or others for making bad choices.  "We know, in fact, stress and negative emotions often lead to things like binge eating, drug relapse and emotional buying.  Incentives work much better."  I believe Adam's ideas are excellent ways to neutralize the effects of the "innate human defiance,"  which was listed as one of the reasons "Why It's so Hard to Break Bad Habits," which was an article written by Jeanna Bryer for Fox News.com.

"How to Bake a Bad Habit" at eHow urged us to be "kind to yourself.  Beating yourself up is another bad habit to be broken".  Also I might add, beating oneself up certainly would agitate our "innate human defiance". 

This blog offered an eight step program for breaking bad behavior.  This program emphasized writing down when the bad behavior occurs and how we feel at the time.  Then one is encouraged to find better ways to express the feeling and find an alternative activity instead of engaging in bad behavior.  People are encouraged to practice new behaviors frequently.

Patricia from A Better You Blog had a blog entitled "Starting A New Habit or Break a Bad One: 10 Steps to Guarantee Success for Anyone.  Patricia has 10 very good ideas.  She emphasized making sure you really want to break the bad habit, figure out what need the habit serves, and replace negative self talk with positive self talk.  She also suggested that people have a plan and backup plan for guaranteeing your success.

Todd from We the Change emphasized using affirmations for breaking bad habits in his blog, "How to Break Out Of Bad Habits by Using Affirmations".  Todd had many suggestions for dealing with  "innate human defiance".  Todd emphasized not making conscious decisions to stop bad habits.  He brought to our attention that it is "human nature to want to do something that you are told that you cannot do"! 

He also emphasized the importance of the subconscious mind and pointed out that using the subconscious mind is more powerful than the conscious mind for breaking bad habits.  I liked Todd's conclusion:  "Remember the repetition of consistent words affects your subconscious mind and slowly shifts the underlying current of your life to the intended direction".

Nancy Schimelpfening from About.com emphasized making conscious choices to engage in bad habits or the payoff for not engaging in a bad behavior.  Her blog was entitled "Bad Choices, Bad Habits".  She encouraged her readers to find the "payoff" motivating the bad habits and also the "trade-off" or what you're losing because of the bad habit.

I wish I had more time to report on more articles on Breaking Bad Behavior.  Nevertheless, I am very happy with the information that I have distilled from the six blogs I have mentioned.  In particular, I was intrigued with the various ways to reduce the influence of our "innate human defiance". 

I hope that you will have a happy new year and success in breaking your bad habits!

Remember, We Live within Environments Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Why It Is Hard To Break Bad Habits?

The New Year is coming.  The time for making New Year's Resolutions is rapidly approaching with excitement and trepidation.

We know it's time to Break Bad Habits, but, often times, our confidence and hope have been shattered by past failure and disappointment.

Because of the bad consequences associated with bad habits, we suck in our gut, take a deep breath and commit ourselves to Breaking Bad Habits.

Jeanna Bryer of Fox News.com wrote a very relevant article "Why It's so Hard to Break Bad Habits".

When Does a Tool Become a Tool?

When does a tool become a tool?  This may seem like a strange question to you. 

"A tool is always a tool", you might think. For example, aren't your screwdrivers, hammers or pliers always tools?  You bought tools, because you wanted to have them in your toolbox for when you need them. 

We like our tools, because they are not perishable like fruits and vegetables.  Tools have a long life, unless misused or fatigued because of years of service.

Of course, you say "a tool is always a tool". 

If you think a tool is always a tool, you are both right and wrong.  How could you be wrong?