North Star Mental Fitness Blog

Brock Mealer's Miraculous Walk

Brock Mealer was given a 1% chance of walking by his doctors.  Basically he was told that he would not walk again.  Yesterday,

The Tiger Mindset

Tiger Woods has failed to maintain his elite status in the golfing world, since his return to the golfing circuit.  Mick Elliott at FANHOUSE called Tiger's current season his "winless season" in Mick's article "Tiger's Par-5 Game Still Isn't up to Par".

Tiger's golf game has been a disaster since his moral indiscretions and marital conflicts became big news. 

Mick showed how bad it has been for Tiger. "Ten times since 1997 Woods has finished in the top 10 on the PGA Tour on birdie-or-better conversions on par 5s. This year there are 53 players in front of his 43 percent conversion rate".

Tiger described his fall

Mindsets For Success

What motivates you?  What is your mindset?  Your mindset is important in every aspect of your life.

We have a very depressing economy.  The value of our property is depreciating due to the mortgage fiasco.  Many people are worried about maintaining their employment or have lost their employment.  Financial pressures magnify problems within marriages and families.

Your mindset determines your financial, interpersonal and psychological status in your life!  Today I would like to talk about three different mindsets.

When things go bad in life, many people often exercise the mindset of "not losing".  They seem to have a mindset that says "I don't want to lose".  Although this mindset may be appropriate at some times in our lives, it usually results in people becoming defensive and protective of themselves and their resources.  They try to hold on to what they have rather than increasing what they have.  They try to hold onto who they have been rather than growing and changing.  They are motivated to not lose rather than to win!

The second mindset is a mindset to win.  With this mindset a person is motivated and dedicated to win.  No matter how bad the circumstances are, this person is motivated to win at all costs.  You probably have heard the saying "when the going gets tough, the tough get going"!  With this mindset, people, often times, are obsessed with winning.  They view life as competition and they always have to win.  They seem to not enjoy what they accomplish and who they are.  They are devastated when they cannot win.

The third mindset is a mindset leading to self-actualization and growth.  Problems in living are perceived to be opportunities; opportunities for learning, changing and growing.  Dr. Alan Goldberg put it this way "You must let go of that obsessive need to win or beat others (which is actually limiting you) and instead focus on being the very best that YOU can be. Simply put you must make your goal improvement, NOT winning.

Steve Siebold writes about the differences in mindsets between the middle class and millionaires in his new book, How Rich People Think.   Steve wrote  "It's no mystery why 1% of Americans own 42% of the country's wealth. The good news is the rich are no smarter than the rest of us, they just think differently about money. The secret is to learn their thought processes, habits and philosophies and copy them. It's that simple, and this is what this book is all about."

In your relationships, are you:

1. Trying to not lose?
2. Trying to win?
3. Trying to grow and be yourself?

In your financial life, are you:

1. Trying to not lose?
2. Trying to win?
3. Trying to grow and be yourself?Remember,

Remember, We Live within the Relationship and Finances Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

When Won'tpower Is Stronger Than Willpower

Cranky Fitness wrote about Willpower and Won'tpower.  Crabby McSlacker focused most on the failure to reach goals on the basis of willpower.  He insinuated that there is won'tpower. 

I sure like the idea that people have both willpower and won'tpower.  I know there is won'tpower.  Haven't you had run-ins with won'tpower!

Time and time again, we try to accomplish goals on the basis of willpower only to be thwarted by an insidious, constantly changing, unrecognized force called won'tpower by Crabby.

Crabby shared his own experience: "I actually do wonder if we have natural limits on our willpower, and can only tackle so many challenges at once. At least I observe this phenomenon in myself all the time. 
Anyone else find that if they're putting a lot of mental effort into one goal, the other stuff starts to slip?"

Can we all identify with Crabby's hypothesis "It's like there's a concrete amount of willpower in my psychological bank account. And if I try to write too many self-improvement checks? The damn things start bouncing."

Because of the difficulty with trying to solve life's problems on the basis of willpower, I created The North Star Mental Fitness Program.  I knew willpower was insufficient for completing self improvement projects.  I thought the willpower has to be made stronger.  I thought the solution must be multifaceted, more complicated, but still possible to obtain.

I liked the concept of mental fitness as it parallels physical fitness.  We all know that physical exercises can make people stronger.  So can mental exercises make people mentally strong enough to solve their problems or reach their goals. In the North Star Mental Fitness Program, there are 15 strategies or exercises for increasing the power in willpower or for giving us the tools for solving our problems and reaching our goals.

There are strategies for building one's focus, putting focus into action and keeping momentum soaring.  There are strategies for coping with frustration and turning won'tpower into willpower.

It does not work to try to beat won'tpower into submission by using willpower.  The harder you try to destroy won'tpower, the stronger it becomes.  Sometimes our unconscious mind specializes in won'tpower and fights against our conscious efforts to achieve self-fulfillment.  When won'tpower appears, it is much like an acting out, screaming child. It must be dealt with immediately. You cannot ignore a screaming child nor won'tpower. 

If you are not reaching their goals and solving your problems, get help for your won'tpower.

Remember, We Live within the Environment Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

 

Tarkenton Still Scrambling in His Senior Years

Fran Tarkenton is still known as the elite scrambling quarterback.  If he didn't beat his opponent with his passing, he did it with his running.  Now in his senior years,

Do Professional Athletes Know How to Stop Choking?

In professional sports, there is tremendous pressure to achieve.  Athletes want to be "Mr. Clutch"!  Athletes went to lead their team to victory.  Athletes want to continually elevate their performances to higher levels.  Athletes want to win, when victory or defeat is determined by what they do!

What is choking?  Choking is the failure to cope successfully with the pressures associated with professional sports, because of anxiety and panic.  Failure to "always" cope effectively with pressure in sports should be expected.  All professional athletes sometimes in their career will fail to achieve at the critical moment.  The critical moment is when what they do will determine the joy of victory or the agony of defeat.  Failure to successfully achieve is not choking.

Professional athletes need to set realistic expectations for themselves.  If a person wants to be a professional athlete, then they need to expect and accept that they sometimes will fail.  After all isn't winning and losing the nature of the game.  Isn't playing well and playing poorly to be expected?

Choking is when professional performance deteriorates, because of anxiety, fear and panic.  Choking is associated with prolonged failure to achieve at a level commensurate with one's ability, because of anxiety, fear and panic.  When focused attempts to achieve result in continuing poor performance or deteriorating performance, choking is present.  Anxiety, fear and panic can completely destroy confidence and prevent successful achievement.  When this occurs, professional athletes are in a state of choking.

There is a lot that can be done to control and manage choking.  Some athletes seek psychiatric treatment and counseling for their anxiety. I recommend mental fitness training for successfully coping with choking.  Mental fitness training is just as important as physical training for successful performance and managing of the pressures associated with professional sports.

Often times, professional athletes are given wonderful advice such as in Patrick Cohn's article,How to Avoid Choking in Baseball.  Although professional advice may be correct and valid, it is only effective when an athlete's default mindset for coping with choking is changed.  The mind's default position for coping with choking can only be changed through hard work or mental fitness or mental toughness training.

Athletes need to know: 

• Advice from their friends, fellow players and coaches usually is ineffective in reducing anxiety induced choking and sometimes can increase choking!
• Attempts to consciously stop choking can actually increase choking!
• It is important to change one's mindset in order to effectively manage choking!
• Mental fitness and mental toughness are the result of one's thinking and not automatically associated with professional skills.
• Mental fitness and mental toughness training can make an athlete stronger than the anxiety associated with choking!

If you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety associated with their performance, suggest to them that they get mental fitness training or contact me for further information.

Remember, We Live with the Performances Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Enough Is Enough

When is enough enough?  We have experienced unimaginable bidding wars in the National Basketball Association for Lebron James and his cohorts.  The amount of money they have been offered is hard to fathom.  Even though Lebron James took less money to sign with the Miami Heat, he still settled for a king's ransom.

In contrast, I read an article by Sesn Conboy in the Pittsburgh Magazine.com about Lamarr Woodley.

Lamarr Woodley is a former football player at the University of Michigan and currently is a star linebacker for the Pittsburgh Steelers.  In 2009, he was a first-time Pro Bowler.  He made 25 sacks from his linebacker position in the last two years.

In this article,

What You Think Means Everything!

We take the importance of thinking for granted.  Thinking is the most important ingredient for determining our behavior and quality of life.

We often take our thinking for granted, because our thinking is often so automatic.  We consciously do not concentrate on changing our thinking, because thinking occurs so quickly without conscious awareness and direction.

We do not question our thinking.  We operate under the principle that what we think is right!

I Am an Awesome Person!

She has large brown eyes and a big smile on her face as she anxiously and then more confidently shocked me with her self-assessment. 

"IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO ME, I AM AN AWESOME PERSON"!

She went on to tell me how important it is to not allow her past to influence her life.  Although she is only 16, she expressed a mindset crafted by very few people.

You might ask what could have happened to her in 16 years.

Automatic Negative Thoughts are called ANTS by Dr. Amen. 

Unfortunately, most of us never question our thoughts, so we don't know we have ANTS.  We never entertain the idea that our thoughts could be misleading or self-defeating.  Since we never question our thoughts, our Automatic Negative Thoughts even though negative, are completely accepted as the truth. 

Unchallenged Automatic Negative Thoughts determine how we feel, how we behave and how we relate in our relationships.  Unchallenged Automatic Negative Thoughts destroy our confidence and turn potential successes into failures.  Most dreams are destroyed by unchallenged Automatic Negative Thoughts.

Automatic Negative Thoughts are lies!  Our minds lie to us, when we have Automatic Negative Thoughts!  If our Automatic Negative Thoughts are lies, then stop believing them!

What are your automatic negative thoughts?  It is important for you to identify your automatic negative thoughts, because these ANTS can create temporary or permanent discomfort and dysfunction in your life.

Here are some ANTS that you might have:

• I will never be successful.
• I cannot have a loving, caring and lasting relationship.
• I cannot pass any test.
• I will never be able to lose weight.
• I always disappoint myself, parents, spouses and children.  He
• I will never be secure.
• I can never please anyone.
• I will never be healthy again.
• I am too old to do anything.
• I am always discriminated against.
• I am always rejected and demeaned by others.
• I am controlled by others.

These are just a few examples of ANTS.  Identify your ANTS and destroy them!  Replace your ANTS with positive and empowering thoughts.  Practice these thoughts frequently.

Remember, We Live within the Identity and Environment Created by Our Mindsets!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach