North Star Mental Fitness Blog

The Power of "Its Okay"

Death!  Dying!  His wife is dying of cancer. 

He is a strong, gentle man.  Today he looks exhausted, weakened, vigilant and almost vacant.  His reports his wife survived another crisis and hospitalization.  Still, the doctor's words haunt him.  He wonders what is next.  He sees his wife's declining ability to cope with life.  He is tired, but committed to be there for his wife.

Today, he seems confused, emotionally distraught and filled with guilt.  He's been known to be impatient.  Now it's been four years.  He has been patiently attending to his wife. 

Thoughts triggered by his inability to escape the reality of what is slowly happening to his wife are covering him guilt.

He doesn't know what to say.  I don't know what to say.  Word seems so empty, so trite.  As I struggled with what to say or do, a smile came over his face.  He noticeably relaxed.  He asked me,

Mental Fitness Is Necessary for Weight Loss

"Work Your Mind, Not Just Your Body" is a very insightful post written by Debbie Rocker at Yahoo Health. Debbie wrote:  "Fitness isn't just physical".

The essence of rational emotive therapy and mental fitness training is expressed in Norman Vincent Peale's statement, "Change your thoughts and you change the world".  This means change your thoughts and you change your weight.

Do you believe this statement made by Debbie: "Let’s not waste time on changing our bodies when they will only change back if we don’t change our minds, too".

Thank You for Giving Me Back My Parents!

"Thank You For Giving Me Back My Parents," she repeated through her tears.  She had just had a tremendous release from lifelong feelings of rejection.

Both of her parents are deceased.  Rest assured, her parents did not come back to life.

What did she mean, when she said "Thank You For Giving Me Back My Parents?"

Is Is There Room Enough for Two of Them in Their Marriage?

"I am entitled" was the life script of the man whose drama led to separation from his wife.  He entered his marriage with a very corrupt script from his childhood.  When he entered middle age, the script exploded creating all types of crises.

He recalled how he had put his wife down frequently.  It pained him to realize how often he said "no one wants to listen" to what she had to say.

Why was he so insensitive to his wife?

I Based My Happiness on The Kids and My Husband, Revisited

Yesterday, I shared with you the story of a woman who based her happiness on her children and her husband. 

She found genuine happiness and meaning in her life, when she was able to take care of her children and her husband.  She was ecstatic when her children and husband recognized her efforts and were content.

Basing her happiness on her children and husband seemed so natural for her in the beginning.  She eagerly looked forward to being a good mother and wife; satisfying the wants and needs of her children and husband.

What went wrong?  Why did she become so depressed?  If basing her happiness on her children and husband made her depressed, what should she do?

"Messing up" And the Pursuit of Long-Range Goals

Pursuing long-range goals is a form of "messing up"?

No, pursuing long-range goals is not a form of "messing up", unless:

Benefits of Success

Benefits of success are what everybody wants to feel fulfilled and satisfied.  I have identified the psychological benefits of success as happiness, peace of mind, freedom and control over one's life.

I believe that these are universal benefits created by success.  It is my hypothesis that people of all ages, races, economic status, religious preferences and relationship commitments seek the benefits of success.

I have noticed that, often times, people are not motivated to be successful in particular activities, but instead are motivated to acquire the benefits of success.  Let me provide you with some examples.

It's Always Been That Way!

"It's always been that way", said the gentle, giant of a man.  A man who for years coped with anxiety and panic by working.  Like many people he worked a tremendous number of hours in a highly stressful job as a way of denying and blurring awareness of his feelings and anxiety.

Finally he could cope no more with his anxiety, by working.  With psychiatric medications and counseling he has made significant improvement.  For example, he has been able to enter stores symptom-free.  He even returned to work.

Today he reported that he still has symptoms at work and then stated "it's always been that way".

What is wrong with his statement?

I Can't Means I Can!

"I can't means I can" said the man, who now has a clearer mind.  He is an alcoholic, who has been on the road of recovery for over 100 days. 

He never realized how much he said "I can't" or "I don't have time".  His drinking was a factor in turning off his possibilities in his life as well as pushing people away.

"I can't" and "I don't have time" were coming from his unconscious mind. 

The Power of Emotions

The power of emotions cannot be under-estimated.  Emotions will either create or destroy success.

Your emotions can empower you or your emotions can disempower you.  Emotions can enrich your life or deplete your life!

Do you want freedom from your disempowering emotions?