North Star Mental Fitness Blog

Does Your Child Have an Empty Heart?

Read about Empty Heart, if you are a parent who acts as if your children don't feel.  Please read about Empty Heart, if you have purposely, inappropriately or unwittingly rejected or unnecessarily been angry towards your children.

18 Mother's Day Quotes

Happy Mothers Day!

For those of you

• who are without your mother today 
• emjoying your mother 
• being a mother or
• beconing a mother
  
  
  Let us remember our mothers and the importance of mothers!

Please Enjoy these "Mother" Quotations

 

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. -- Washington Irving (1783-1859)

"The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness." -- Honore' de Balzac (1799-1850)

"My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her." -- George Washington (1732-1799)

All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother." -- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life." -- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

"God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers." -- Jewish proverb

"The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom." -- Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887)

"Youth fades; love droops, the leaves of friendship fall; A mother's secret hope outlives them all." -- Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)

Most mothers are instinctive philosophers. Harriet Beecher Stowe

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. Marion C. Garretty

Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever. Unknown

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. Peter De Vries

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. Tenneva Jordan

If the whole world were put into one scale, and my mother in the other, the whole world would kick the beam. Lord Langdale aka Henry Bickersteth)

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.  Rajneesh

Mother - that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries. T. DeWitt Talmage

A mother understands what a child does not say. Unknown

Thank You Mothers.

We Live Within the Worlds and Mindsets Created by Our Mothers!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

 

How Important Are Grandparents?

From a sociological perspective, more and more grandparents are spending their golden years taking care of their grandchildren.  In many societies, grand parenting is a vital part of the family structure.  In our highly mobile society, grandparents are not involved within the family structure.  In our highly disposable society, grandparents may also become disposable.

At least, sometimes, grandparents feel as if there is an expiration date on their relationship with their grandchildren.  Grandparents may feel insecure in their place within the family structure.  They may question their importance.  Some grandparents are fearful of over-extending their boundaries and fearful of self-actualizing in their role as a grandparent.

In the last few weeks, I've been talking to a man who has been extremely concerned about his grandson.  This grandfather had  bonded with his grandson and now does not have any contact with his grandson.  This grandfather made a very difficult decision.  His daughter was abusing drugs.  He confronted his daughter.  Since she was resistant to entering substance abuse treatment, he asked her to leave his home.  She took her son and has refused any contact between her son and the grandfather.  

I have also been talking to a man who has been a wife's nightmare.  He has been a serial cheater.  Analysis of his childhood indicated that he was always fearful of his mother removing him from his grandmother.  He perceived his grandmother as loving him.  He became fearful of forming close relationships.  His wife became like his grandmother.  He knew his wife loved him.  Whenever there was potential conflict, he ran away from his wife into another relationship.

As I thought about these two men, I began thinking about the importance of grand parenting.  Grand parenting can provide psychological security, love, values and stability for grandchildren.  Grand parenting can definitely assist parents in raising their children.

I ask you, how important is grand parenting in your family?  Is it important for you to have grandparents play a crucial role in raising your children?  It is important for your  children's grandparents to feel secure, spontaneous and free to be themselves with your children?

Remember, We Live WIthin the Families Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Mother and Grandmother Issues

Relationships are often times very difficult.  At tiesm relationships between mothers and grandmothers are especially difficult.  I am quite sure that the relationships between mothers and grandmothers can be associated with tremendous emotional pain for both the mothers and grandmothers.

The Power of You Can ’ t

He was a very inquisitive 14-year-old.  In fact, since he was very young, he always wanted to see how things worked.  As a result he took apart everything.   Sometimes he couldn't make things run again.

He had figured out how to take the bicycle apart and put it back together.  He was confident.  He was filled with anticipation, when his father said "you can't, can't do that!"

He was crushed emotionally.  His confidence evaporated quickly as he pondered the comments from his father.  His father never knew how powerful his comments were.

Now the rest of the story.  40 years later, he has been laid off after a successful career.  He shared with me the lasting effects of his father's comments.  Throughout his career, when his confidence was building, his father's comments entered his mind.  Doubts entered his mind.  He anticipated someone telling him "you can't, can't do that".

We talked about the power of language.  How much better would have been, if his father had said "please, don't do that" instead of the message that killed his confidence and weakened his identity.

What message are you giving your children?  If you are telling yourself and others "you can't, can't do that," now is the time to find a new message like "you can, you can".