North Star Mental Fitness Blog

Family Values, Faith and Fitness

Family values has become an electrifying issue for the University of Michigan football team.  The controversy regarding family values surfaced when offensive guard, Justin Boren left the team, because the team's "family values have eroded".  His statement was extremely painful.  After all, he was a second-generation football player at U. of M.  The quotation from Justin Boren was embedded in an article "Rick Rodriguez is building a proud program at Michigan" which appeared in Koala325.

Bob Flounders from the Patriot News wrote an aspiring article on family values.  The story was about the heartbreaking losses experienced by the Mealer and Richer families and about the victories experience as the result of family values, faith and fitness.

Elliott Mealer is a very talented football player, who committed to play for the University of Michigan.  On Christmas Eve in 2007, a car accident took the life of his father and his girlfriend, Hollis Richer.  Elliott, his mother and brother Brock survived.  Brock had a severely damaged spinal cord and broken wrist.

The importance of family values was seen at the time of the accident, when Elliott tried to lift a section of the SUV to free his loved ones.  As a result he had a torn rotator cuff injury.

Elliott talked about his father's love and commitment to his family.  "My father was the type of guy who would do everything for the family".  When he was in the second grade, Elliott remembered talking to his father that he wanted to go to a school where they played football.  Elliott said "we ended up moving".

Life has not been easy for Elliott, since the accident.  Elliott confided "I can't get the vision of the wreck out of my mind.  My girlfriend, my dad,  I'm still going through stages".  Elliott went on to say "what makes it really hard is that my dad and my girlfriend were my best friends".

Family, faith and fitness has helped Elliott go on since the tragic accident. Elliott attributed his faith to his girlfriend.  "She has such a strong faith.  I've never seen anybody with faith as strong as hers" said Elliott.

A bond developed between the Mealer and Richer families.  Since the accident, Elliott has lived with the Richer family.  Obviously, the Mealer and Ricter families had nurtured very strong family values based on faith.

Bob Flounders wrote "faith has carried Elliott Mealer in the six months since the life-alternating the accident and faith has convinced him that his brother will to defy doctors' predictions that he would never walk again".

If you want to know what faith and fitness are all about, listen to the words of Elliott's brother, Brock.  "Well, I know I am going to walk again.  I don't know how long it will take, it may take 10 years, but I'm going to do it."

Elliott calls his brother "Miracle Mealer".  Talking about his brother, Elliott predicted "when he puts his mind to something, it gets done".  Elliott has another brother by the name of Blake.  Elliott went on to say "Blake and I were the athletes, but Brock's tougher than all of us".

I want to conclude this inspiring story by talking about family values that transcend the fierce rivalry between Ohio State and Michigan.  Brock's spirits were recently encouraged by a phone call from Jim Tressel, the Ohio State Football Coach. 

Former University Of Michigan Football Coach, Lloyd Carr, used his influence to get brought into U of M's medical facility.  Even though Brock is a Ohio State student, Rich Rodriquez and his staff have regularly visited and encouraged Brock.  Brock stated "Coach Rodriquez and his assistants have been great to me".

Life is about family values, faith and fitness.  The Mealer family, the Richer family, Elliott, Brock, Coach Carr, Coach Tressel and Coach Rodriquez have together created an inspiring story for us all to emulate.  Yes, the coaches and players at the University of Michigan still have family values.

Remember, We Live within the Environment Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Mental Fitness Programming Applied to Overcome Anxiety about Surgery

The Turn Around Choice of the North Star Medal Fitness Program has been designed to reduce anxiety, panic and fear. 

In fact, this Choice can be used to reduce and manage all self-defeating behavior.  Yesterday, I taught a client how to apply the Turn Around Choice to reduce anxiety and fear about flying in an airplane.

At first he was skeptical.  Then he went through a stage of disbelief as he never thought of this approach to reduce his fear of flying.  As he began to understand how he could reduce and manage his fear of flying, he relaxed.  He felt confident.  He exclaimed that the general public should know about this procedure. 

We talked about how this procedure could be applied to solve so many problems like addictions, other fears and problems with poor impulse control. 

As we talked, I began to feel rather foolish.  I had completely forgotten to apply the choice in my own life!

You see, later this morning I will have shoulder surgery.  I had completely forgotten to master my anxiety, fears and indecision regarding the surgery with the Turn Around Choice.  I admitted my oversight to my client.

Immediately, I applied the Turn Around Choice to relax me regarding my surgery.  It worked.  Yesterday and today I have an inner calmness about the surgery.  I also know that I can use the Turn Around Choice, if my fear or panic return.

I also emphasized for my client one more fact.  Even though a person knows the secrets of mental fitness, mental fitness relief will not be experienced unless the Turn Around Choice is consciously made.

Remember, We Live within the Environment Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Kansas Won the Mental Game

Kansas is the 2008 NCAA basketball champions.  Trailing by three points as time was running out of the game, Mario Chalmers made a Michael Jordan like three point shot to send the game into overtime.

Both Memphis and Kansas are champion quality basketball teams.  Both teams were well coached.  Both teams had players with excellent physical fitness and abilities.  Both teams had been both mentally and physically fit or they would not have reached the championship game.

In the championship game, I believe Kansas won, because they showed greater mental fitness and toughness. 

Silda Spitzer Standing Strong and Standing Up Elliott

Heartbreak!  Heart broken!  Her dreams broken!  Her life twisted and  turned upside down by the whirlwind disclosures of her husband's infidelity.  The essence of her marriage destroyed.

Holding in her pain as seen in her face and facing the entire world and media, she stood strong and committed to herself and her role. 

From a mental fitness and mental toughness perspective, I admire and respect Silda Spitzer.  Let's get it right.  Our eyes betray us and pictures did not tell the complete story.  Silda Spitzer is not and was not standing behind Eliot.

Silda Spitzer has been standing with her husband throughout his career. 

Silda Spitzer has been standing in front of her husband throughout his career.  She has been his solace, coach, guide and resource person.  What we see in the famous pictures is not Silda standing behind Eliot. Instead, we once again see Silda behind the scenes standing up Eliot!

It's Okay to Lose

Losing is part of life.  Therefore, it is okay to lose.  It is okay to sometimes expect to lose. 

The importance of expecting losing and losses in sports as well as in life is demonstrated in this quotation from Pat Riley.  Pat Riley has been the coach of five NBA championship teams.  He is widely regarded as one of the the best NBA coaches of all time.

Charlie Jones wrote "What Makes Winners Win".  In his book Charlie Jones quoted Pat Riley:

"First of all, you teach players that losing is just as much a part of the game as winning.

I used to set a reverse goal.  We come into training camp and I would say to my players,' it's okay to lose 25 games'.

Now 25 games to most people seemed like a lot of losing.  But you must realize that 25 losses add up to 57 victories, which means you probably win your division and your conference and have the best record in the league.

So they have to understand that losing is just as much a part of the game as winning."

Jenner on the Mind

Bruce Jenner won the 1976 decathlon in the 1976 Olympics.  The grueling victory was due to both his mental and physical fitness.  In Bruce's own words he said:

"You Have To Train Your Mind like You Train Your Body".

This quotation from Bruce Jenner about the importance of training the mind is even more significant, when you consider that he also struggled with dyslexia.

No matter what is your burden today or your goal, take time to train your mind.

Remember, We Live with The Environment Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Lloyd Carr Retires

Julian H. Gonzalez of the Detroit Free Press took this picture of Lloyd Carr leaving the University of Michigan Stadium as coach for the last time.

How will Coach Carr be remembered?

Will he be remembered as the coach who has dedicated 28 years of his life and 13 years as head Coach to the University? 

Will he be remembered as a man of inner strength, high moral character, and a passion for football?

Will he be remembered as the Coach who brought a national championship to Ann Arbor and numerous Big 10 championships? 

Will he be remembered as the Coach who influenced the lives of so many men and helped develop character, passion and commitment for living life, even when circumstances are bleak?

Or will he be remembered, because of his losses to Ohio State and their coach, Tressel? 

Remembering Bo

Bo Schembechler died a year ago on the day before undefeated Michigan and Ohio State faced each other in their annual rivalry.

Tomorrow, the Wolverines and the Buckeyes again will face each other on the football field.  The legacy of Bo has not and will not be forgotten. 

Today I read a very interesting article from "Bo's Lasting Lessons in The Detroit News.  This book was co-authored by Bo Schembechler and John U. Bacon, a former News sports reporter.   The picture of Bo and his son, Shemy, was taken by The Detroit News.

Bo has a reputation for being a tough-minded coach.  As I read about the last week of his life, tears came to my eyes as I had a glimpse into the character of this man.

 

King Eli Has Died; Are You Available?

Eli Florence was loved and respected by his peers and community.  For four years he struggled and battled acute myelogenous leukemia.  In the process of losing his life, he gave renewed life, hope and courage to people of all ages throughout the world.

A typical teenager and his group of friends from a small community, Lake Fenton by name, were featured on ESPN.  They were featured on ESPN, not because of their athletic endeavors on the football field or a golf course, but because of their courage, wisdom and love in winning the game of life.

Eli's friends chose to honor her Eli, who had won the hearts of his fans, but was losing his battle with leukemia.  They honored him by making him King for homecoming and gave up their opportunity to be the king.  King Eli has died, but he won the game of life.

I was so impressed with El's reaction to hearing about medical diagnosis.  Eli was not overrun with fear, anxiety or depression.  Instead he told his mother:  "I've got something to tell you, "Me and God, we had a heart-to-heart.  I told him I was available for whatever he needed."

Eli was special.  His "availability for whatever God needed" in his time of suffering has left a lasting impression on all of those who have known him and heard about him.

Here are what some people had to say.

"Me and God-Had a Heart-to-Heart"

Tina Florence-King had just heard what no parent wants to hear.  On August 20, 2003, she was told her son was suffering from acute myelogenous leukemia.

Jay Weiner of ESPN.com wrote,  High school football players 'fix' vote for leukemia-stricken king.

That day, her wise little boy boldly consoled her.

"I've got something to tell you," she remembers him saying. "Me and God, we had a heart-to-heart. I told him I was available for whatever he needed."

What a reaction to being diagnosed with leukemia!  Unbelievable, yes!  Uplifting for his mom.  Calm acceptance of his illness.  Faith sufficient for himself, his mom, his team and all of us.

The wise little boy is Eli Florence.  A 15-year-old boy dying of  leukemia.  Before his illness, he was a guard on the football team.  His mother received awful news.  She posted on the Internet: