North Star Mental Fitness Blog

Successful Teenagers

Michael Jordan was motivated to elevate his performance continually to higher levels.  I want to tell you about three teenagers, who also have had high aspirations and recently achieved great successes.  All three teenagers showed remarkable ability to focus and achieve their goals.

When Chalonda Goodman was six years old, she was enthralled with Michael Johnson's successes in the World Olympics.  She also was mesmerized by the athletes in the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta, Georgia. 

She told her father "I want to do that". 

Stuart Kantor wrote "A passion ensued, fueled by an innate desire to run faster than any girl lined up next to her". As a result of her ability to focus and work towards her dream, she graduated from high school with 8 state titles in track.

High school senior, Bryce Lamb, triple jumped farther than any high schooler in the nation.  He also set a state record in his home state. 

He began his track career at the age of five. "I quit the first practice," Lamb recalled. "It was too hard. I was walking to the car and I told my mom, 'I don't ever want to do this again.'  At the age of six, Bryce began training.

Bryce has set his goal to participate in the 2012 Olympics. "It's always been in my mind, and it's possible now," he said.

Stuart Kantor also wrote about a teenager, Bonnie Richardson, who lives in a small Texas town of less than 600 people.  Her school did not even have a track program.  Twice Bonnie has accomplished the unbelievable.  By herself, she has won two state team track championships in the state of Texas.

All of these teenagers show the importance of good mental fitness as expressed in their persistent motivation to excel in their athletic endeavors.  They courageously remained on target to reach their goals and avoided all distractions that would interfered with achieving their goals.  Undoubtedly, they overcame many obstacles in order to become successful.

We can learn a lot from these teenagers.  We can learn to set our dreams and courageously work toward achieving our dreams even when external circumstances are bleak, limiting and discouraging.

Remember, We Live within the Environment Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Energize Your Brain

A person with mental fitness recognizes the importance of energizing his or her brain.  Brain stimulation through cognitive exercises and training is one way to energize and develop a healthy brain.

Martha Kerr from Reuters reported on a study entitled " Exercise Improves Brain Flow and Older Adults".  In older individuals,

The researchers reported "exercise is associated with an increase in the number of large-diameter vessels in the cerebral region of the brain and with an increase in blood flow in the three major cerebral arteries".

Also the researchers noted "narrowing and loss of small vessels may contribute to cognitive decline. This area of the brain controls functions that include consciousness, memory, initiation of activity, emotional response, language and word associations".

The study included 12 healthy adults with no cognitive decline or psychiatric diagnoses.  The adults were between the ages of 60 to 80.  Six of the adults had exercise for over three hours a week for over a 10 year..  The other six adults had exercised less than one hour a week during the same time.

"Active subjects had more small blood vessels and greater cerebral blood flow than inactive individuals", reported the researcher from the University of North Carolina, Feraz Rahman.

"We also found that a loss of small vessels is not an issue in active adults, because the average vessel size increases and blood flow is positively correlated with radius. However, in inactive adults, the number of small vessels is an issue."

Rahman's group concluded: "An aerobic exercise program may be a vital part of healthy aging by preventing the narrowing and loss of small cerebral vessels and consequent decrease in cerebral blood flow."

If we want to be mentally and physically fit, it is important to stimulate our brains with regular physical and cognitive exercises.

Remember, We Will Live within the Mind Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

New Year's Quitting

Quitting New Year's resolutions is something you did not want to happen, but very likely has occurred or will occur.  Most people give up on their New Year's resolutions before the end of February.

Why does this happen?  It is not an accident that people quit!  At The Positivity Blog, there was a very interesting posting on "Do you make these 7 mistakes when trying to keep your New Year's resolutions"?

These seven mistakes are:

1. You really don't want it that much.
2. You can use homeostasis with "time to give up".
3. You don't know how to handle your bad days.
4. You're not changing your environment to suit you.
5. You don't have a realistic plan and expectations.
6. You're focusing on too many resolutions at once.
7. You let temporary failure or mistakes lead to giving up completely. 

Can you see yourself making these mistakes?  These mistakes are all reflective of a stronger motivational pattern.  This motivational pattern can best be summarized as "we wanted to quit".

No matter how desirable and worthwhile your New Year's resolution may be, there will be a very strong power inside of you that wants to quit.

We need to accept the normalcy of wanting to quit.   We need to not deny the reality of our wanting to quit doing the things that are good for us.  We need to confront our motivation for quitting.

The desire for quitting will take many forms, such as the seven mistakes listed above and probably many, many more.

Give yourself freedom to quit and then decide whether you want to quit or not.  The motive to quit will be as strong as the motive to actualize your New Year's resolutions.  Therefore, it is important to make a decision about quitting.

Remember You Live with Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Dare to Be Economically Free!

Citigroup just announced that 53,000 jobs will be cut.  GM, Ford and Chrysler are on the verge of bankruptcy or reorganization.  The auto industry is begging for a government bail-out.  Many, many more people may be out of jobs.  Many and many more businesses may fail. 

First there was the mortgage fiasco.  Then there were failing big industries. Then the controversial bailout and colossal government betrayal of the populace. That was followed by frozen credit, which has paralyzed our economy.

We feel bullied by economic forces beyond our control.  We have lost investments, employment, homes and our financial well-being.  We are confused.  We are depressed.  We are stressed out.  We are angry.  We feel betrayed.  We are desperate.  These are all natural reactions to the devastation of our economy and financial well-being.  These are all familiar responses we have made or have seen made by our family, friends and the media.

We know we must make changes.  We know we can't wait for President Elect Obama to take office and make changes for us.  We are the ones who are losing our jobs, our businesses, our retirement plans and our financial security.  We can't wait.  We must do it ourselves.  We must take care of our financial affairs.  We must take care of ourselves.

We must act.  Lord Buddha had a message that is relevant for today.  "I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act".

Seneca, the ancient philosopher takes the argument for action a step further.  "It is not because things are difficult that we don't dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult".

Dare to act now!  Dare to act now with freedom!  We live in a free country and let us not forget that we are free.  Let us not allow the economic recession to destroy our hope and our freedom. 

Let us do what is necessary to exercise our freedom; so we can become free from our economy, our lost jobs, our depleted retirements and our financial reversals.  Let us show our mental fitness.  Let us show our mental fitness by being free, strong, determined, flexible, and creative.

• Let us exercise our freedom and dare to reach our dreams. 
• Let us dare to overcome our losses, insecurities and fears.  We are free in spite of all we have lost. 
• Let us dare to exercise our freedom by overcoming our losses and achieving new financial and economic goals.
• Let us dare to do what is ever necessary to take care of us and our families.

Remember, We Live within the Environment and Economy Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

 

Taking Care of Herself Crowded out Her Paranoia and Panic

I was pleasantly surprised when one of my clients informed me that she no longer had paranoia and panic.  I looked at her with disbelief.  Although I have known her very well, I had no idea she suffered from paranoia and panic.

She had made very significant improvements in her life.  She has been living one day at a time with a focus on taking care of herself.  I knew her depression had significantly lifted.  I knew her self-concept had significantly improved.  I knew she was coping effectively with the uncertainties in her life.

She has frequently verbalized how relaxed and confident she feels now that her mind is fit.  She has become empowered to make good choices.

I was surprised and stunned initially.  Then I realized her unexpected freedom from paranoia and panic was confirmation of the mental fitness theory.  This young woman have become stronger than her problems.  

She is living proof that mentally fit individuals overcome problems in their lives without having to focus on solving specific problems.

When people focus on taking care of themselves in the present, they avoid all types of problems and unwittingly solve many of their recognized problems.

Taking care of yourself will empower you to be stronger than your problems.

Remember, You Live within the Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

When "Yes, I Can" Becomes a Problem

My post about "Yes, I Can" emphasized how difficult is is to make this affirmation and how important this affirmation is for generating succcess.  The post "How Many Success Do You Need Before You Can Conclude Your Are Succcessful" stressed the importance of drawing the conclusion that we are succcessful after we have been succcessful.

Both of these posts extol the importance of having this successful motivation and identity. 

Did you know, "Yes, I Can" isn't always a good mind set?  Here is why. 

"Yes, I Can" has to be used judiciously.  It is very easy the say "Yes, I Can" and find yourself over-whemed with responsibilities, commitments, and obligations. 

How many times have you know better, and still failed to say "No".  Logically, you know you can  do it, so you take on more and more.  Before long your life is no longer yours.  You work and work.  Your quality of life begins to suffer and you feel the symptoms of burn-out. 

The force of "Yes, I Can"  needs to be controlled and limited by the motive and drive "Is This Best for Me".  Sometimes you need to say "No" emphatically to "Yes, I Can" and the relentless requests from others to do more.   Asking the question, "Is This Best for Me" can stop you from over extending yourself by assuming too many responsibilities and eventually living in the neighborhood of perpetual burrn-out.

 Remember, You Live Within the Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Yes, I Can

"Yes, I Can" is a wonderful affirmation.  This affirmation will program the mind for success in all areas of one's life.

I have been very surprised by the difficulties many clients have with making success generating affirmations. 

Freedom from Problem-Solving

This is the most important blog I've ever written regarding about mental fitness. I want you to know "If you're fit in your head, you can deal with anything".

We live in a problem oriented society.  For many people life is a depressing merry-go-round of identifying problems and then trying to find solutions for their problems.  People spend most of their lives being preoccupied and worried about their problems, while frantically and incessantly pursuing solutions to their problems.  No matter how many successful solutions you find, life always seems to have more problems in need of solutions.

Before long people are captured by our societal norms and expectations to solve problem.  They live with barren lives consumed with problem solving.  Everywhere people look, there are problems.  Problems surface and resurface regularly.  Problems multiply like rabbits.  Problems, problems and more problems.  People soon live within an environment dominated by problems and the obsessive pursuit of solutions.

Yesterday, I had a very enlightening conversation with one of my clients, who clearly expressed a traditional work ethic.  She also explained how the traditional work ethic of identifying problems and constantly working to find solutions almost killed her.  She had sunk into a world of depression with suicidal ideation, because she could not find solutions to her problems.

This is what she told me.

Play To Win; Not to Lose

The University of Michigan football team is undergoing a transition period.  There has been a coaching change.  Hopefully there will also be a change in motivation and psychology.

Lloyd Carr has a wonderful reputation as a coach.  He has been well-liked by his players, fellow coaches and most people he has met.  He has been a role model for running a football program with morals.

Unfortunately, Coach Carr appeared to motivate his team with the philosophy to not lose.  As a result the team game plans were entirely predictable, unimaginative and way too conservative.  His game plans built on the philosophy to not lose prevented his teams from beating teams who were motivated creatively and imaginatively to win.

Too often, people are like conservative coaches.  We play our lives not lose.  We do not play our lives to win!  We motivate ourselves to not make mistakes rather than taking the risk of going beyond our comfort zones.  We do not set goals for self-actualization, instead settling for its self-preservation.

Pleasing Others

Are you living within the environment created by pleasing others or are you living within the environment created by taking care of yourself?

Today I talked to a depressed man, who has centered his live around pleasing others.

Why was he depressed?