North Star Mental Fitness Blog

Does Freedom Have an Expiration Date?

Almost all of the perishable food we eat comes with an expiration date.  It appears that almost everything has an expiration date.  Of course, everything may not be stamped with a specific expiration date.  Just because there's no stamp expiration date, don't be fooled.  Everything has its time of glory followed by decline and extinction.

As I look back over my life I realize that life and culture are continually changing.  Life and culture have a cycle of greatness followed by extinction. 

Sometimes, I long for favorite restaurants, stores and products which no longer exist.  I miss certain fashions from the past.  When I really reminisce, I miss the quiet simplistic life that existed before the onset of TV and the Internet.

To be honest I realize my youthful body has also become extinct.  The recklessness and impulsiveness of youth is also becoming extinct.  Although the strength and flexibility of my body is becoming extinct, I still have the freedom of my mind and spirit.

As I listen to our politicians and realize the self-centeredness and greed operating within our society, I wonder if values of honesty, transparency, fairness, loyalty, and commitment are still alive or are they extinct?

As I realize the seeds of change that are being planted in our government and society by our government, I wonder if our democracy and freedom are rushing to extinction!  We know from history that nations rise up and then become extinct.  Is the extinction of our democracy accelerating?

It is time to make freedom choices!  If we went freedom from the way things are now in our society and lives, it is time to courageously commit to actively pursue our freedom.

If we do not want what we hold dear to become extinct, then we must pursue our freedom with unwavering focus and emotion. 

Remember there is no guarantee that our freedom and democracy will not become extinct in our lifetime!

Remember, We Live within the Environment Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

11 Father's Day Quotes

Today we are celebrating Father's Day.  Here are some quotes for you to think about on this day.

"Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad".

Clarence B. Kelland's coach regarding fatherhood, "my father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it".

Every father should remember that one day his son will follow his example instead of his advice".

Theodore Hesburgh wrote "The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother".

William Shakespeare on fathers "it is a wise father who knows his own child".

William Busch wrote this about fatherhood " becoming a father is easy enough, but being one can be very rough".

Sigmund Freud wrote "I cannot think of any need and childhood as strong as that need for a father's protection". 

Charles Wadsworth "by the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he is wrong".

One night a father overheard his son pray: Dear God,  Make me the kind of man my Daddy is.  Later that night, the Father prayed.  Dear God.  Make me the kind of man my son wants me to be".

Harmon Killebrew wrote about fatherhood "my father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mother would come out and say, 'you're tearing up the grass'.  "We're not raising grass".  Dad would reply. "We're raising boys'".

Paul Lewis's quote on fatherhood "a father's words are like a thermostat that sets the temperature in the house".

 Happy Father's Day!

 

Remember We Live within the Environment Created by Our Choices!

 Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Identify Signals; Not Problems; Not Symptoms!

Identify signals is the fifth blog in the series, If You Can Drive a Car, You Can Have Satisfying and Sensitive Relationships.  So far we have established

New Year's Courage

New Year's Eve has passed and now we are in new year.  Perhaps you made New Year's Resolutions Now Is the time reaffirm our resolutions and courageously commit to living our resolutions for this year.

Now is the time to think of our lives and our resolutions.  Let us put our specific resolutions within the bigger picture of taking care of ourselves throughout the next year. 

At this time of year we can review our lives and realize how important it is to take care of ourselves. 

Lynn Bufka, Ph.D. good making New Year's resolutions in perspective when she said:

 “Remember, it is not the extent of the change that matters, but rather the act of recognizing that lifestyle change is important and working toward it, one step at a time.”

Lynn's quotation appeared in the AP Help Center article on Making Your New Year's Resolutions Stick.

Realizing what lifestyle changes you want to make and what lifestyle changes you do not want to make it is what I mean by taking care of yourself during the next year. 

It takes real courage to be willing to look at one's lifestyle with the intent of making beneficial changes for ourselves. 

It takes real courage to realize that we need to change what we've identified. 

It takes real courage begin to make the changes that we've identified.

It takes real courage to make the changes one day at a time. 

It takes real courage to make the changes, when we are tired, feeling miserable and circumstances are per to be overwhelmingly against us. 

It takes real courage to make the changes and feel good about ourselves on a daily basis, while we are progressing towards a long-range goal.

It takes real courage to reach our goals.

It takes real courage to continue the changes after we reached our goals.

As we progress through the year 2009, let us go with courage to take care of ourselves on a daily basis and actualize our resolutions.

Remember, We Live within the Environment Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

 

How Many Successes Do You Need Before You Can Conclude You Are Successful

Recently I talked to a middle-aged woman, who was asked to take a position in a large business.  In order to take this advancement, she had to go way beyond her comfort zone.  A hard-working woman with limited work experience, she openly questioned her ability to succeed.

Every day she did the best she could.  At first she was really overwhelmed, but she still applied herself.  She succeeded on a daily basis for over a year.  She was shocked, when she was asked to take a position with even more responsibility.

She once again agreed to take the new position and hoped that she could be successful.  She has now had two years of successes.  She has had over 730 days of successes.

I think she was shocked when I asked her if she considered herself to be successful.  I don't believe she had ever concluded that "I am a success".

Announcing the Mind Fitness Newsletter

For a long time I have been blogging.  In fact, I have made 350 posts.  I have enjoyed the new acquaintances I have made, including fellow bloggers with similar interests.  I have especially enjoyed and appreciated the comments made by readers of my blog.

As you may have noticed, the frequency of my posts has decreased.  I have been researching various ideas for increasing interpersonal interaction and communication between myself and the readers of this blog.  Blogging has been way too impersonal form me and I think for most of my readers.

I want to know my readers.  I want to know  your feelings, thoughts and goals.  I want to interact with you, my readers, while you are applying mental fitness concepts to improve the quality of your lives.  I want to know where you are stuck and where you are progressing.

I have chosen to start a newsletter by the name of "Mind Fitness".  I have some great ideas regarding how to make mental fitness more personal and interactive.  I'll also be asking you for your ideas.

You may have noticed on the upper right corner of my blog, there is a "Sign Me Up" place for you to click and become a recipient of the newsletter.  The newsletter will be free.  I hope you will sign up.  However, I hope you will only sign up if you want to interact and feel empowered in applying mental fitness in your life.

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

She DIdn't Quit

I LIVE WITHIN THE ENVIRONMENT CREATED BY MY CHOICES has been validated.  Two years ago, she was devastated by the sudden death of her husband.  They had been through difficult times in their lives together.  At the time of his untimely death, an environment of calmness and love flourished between them.

I told her story in After Death Do Us Part.  Now let me tell you the rest of her story.  Her husband had a horrible accident, resulting in a broken neck.  He no longer was able to work and his quality of his life declined tremendously.  At that time, she was employed in the job with no future of advancement.  In addition, her job was not allowing her to achieve her dreams and utilize her talents.

Much to the surprise and disappointment of her husband, she quit her job.  He withdrew from her angrily, because there was no money being made by them.  She still pursued her dream in spite of the coldness and lack of support from her husband. 

She pursued her dream by entering school, graduating and becoming an exceptional teacher.  At the time of her husband's death, he had let go of his resentments towards her for pursuing her dream, when his dreams had ended.  She had accomplished her dream to be a teacher, when he died.

Life was good for them.  They were sharing their goals and were emotionally connected, when he suddenly died.  She was emotionally devastated, alone.  She felt cheated.  Although she momentarily felt like quitting, she did not quit!

She continued with her education and achieved an advanced degree.  She has received accolades for her teaching.  She is now launching her new career as a school administrator.  She is selling her home and moving.  She has remained focused on her dreams in spite of the problems she has with her sons.  She has learned to detach from rescuing her sons.

Today, this woman realizes the powerfulness of her choices.  She clearly sees how her choices are creating the environment she desires.  She understands that her happiness, peace of mind, freedom and control over her life has been generated by her choice making and not by external circumstances.

She has had the courage to make difficult decisions during the course of caring for herself.  She has remained focused, even though her heart was broken by the death of her husband and the unproductive ways of her children. 

No matter how bad her circumstances have been, she has remained focused on pursuing and living her dreams.

Remember, You, Too, Live within the Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Pain Is a Welcomed Signal

How do you interpret your pain?  Pain can be experienced physically, emotionally, psychologically, interpersonally or financially.

Most people trying to avoid pain.  Pain is perceived to be bad and to be avoided at all cost.  We wish that we could live a pain free life.  That is not realistic.

Pain is like a good friend.  A good friend will tell you when you're doing something wrong and need to make some changes in your life.

Also pain is a signal.  How is pain a signal?

Brain Research Shows Why It's so Hard to Get Free from the Past

In sports, family life and in areas of self-actualization, we want to become free from our painful and embarrassing past failures, shortcomings and psychic representations of these events in our minds.

Wouldn't it be nice if we did not have psychic representations of bad and painful experiences in our minds?

Wouldn't it be nice if we never rehashed our errors and disappointments?

Wouldn't it be nice if our past failures, insecurities, fears and guilt didn't capture our minds and influence us in the future?

Now psychological researchers have shown as reported in Science Daily:

Dale Carnegie on Happiness

Happiness- where do you find your happiness?

Dale Carnegie wrote:

"It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,

or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy,

it is what you think about".

People always have choices in their pursuit of happiness.  The most powerful choices in the pursuit of happiness are mental.

How you think about the possessions, people and places in your life will determine happiness or unhappiness.

How you think will determine how you feel!

Remember, You Live within the Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach