North Star Mental Fitness Blog

Freedom Is Not An Entitlement

Are you erroneously thinking that "freedom is an entitlement" or that the " world owes you something"?  Are you erroneously looking for the government to take care of you and give you freedom?

Life, Liberty and Pursuit of Happiness!

"We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Man are created equal,  that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights, that amongst these are the Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness".  This is a quote from the Declaration of Independence.

The framers of our government realized the importance of freedom for each and every individual.  They perceived freedom and the pursuit of happiness to be basic truths and our basic rights given to us by our Creator and codified by the Second Constitutional Congress.

In the North Star Mental Fitness Program, the focus is on training individuals to exercise their self-evident and inalienable rights for living their life under their own direction.  The purpose of the program is to provide tools to help people self-actualize and achieve their own dreams. 

In the North Star Mental Fitness Program, people are motivated to make changes in their lives out of freedom.  No matter how big or small one's achievement becomes, the real goal is to experience increased happiness, peace of mind, freedom and control over one's life. 

We very strongly believe that people are motivated to have their benefits, which are happiness, peace of mind, freedom and control over their lives.  While it is important for individuals to be free in their pursuit of happiness, it is also important that our government must not become destroy these self-evident truths and our inalienable rights.

It is important for our federal, state and local governments to uphold the rights given to us by the Declaration of Independence.

As July 4th approaches, let us celebrate our independence with a determination to ensure that our government does not neutralize our inalienable rights for freedom and the pursuit of happiness.   Let us courageously pursue our dreams in order to experience our freedom and happiness.

Remember, We Live within the Environment Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

What You Think Means Everything!

We take the importance of thinking for granted.  Thinking is the most important ingredient for determining our behavior and quality of life.

We often take our thinking for granted, because our thinking is often so automatic.  We consciously do not concentrate on changing our thinking, because thinking occurs so quickly without conscious awareness and direction.

We do not question our thinking.  We operate under the principle that what we think is right!

I Am an Awesome Person!

She has large brown eyes and a big smile on her face as she anxiously and then more confidently shocked me with her self-assessment. 

"IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO ME, I AM AN AWESOME PERSON"!

She went on to tell me how important it is to not allow her past to influence her life.  Although she is only 16, she expressed a mindset crafted by very few people.

You might ask what could have happened to her in 16 years.

WE WILL LIVE WITHIN THE COUNTRY CREATED BY OUR CHOICES!

Memorial Day. A day to remember our known and unknown heroes.  A day of reverence and gratitude for those who sacrificed for our independence and to those who gave up their lives so we can live in freedom.  As I reflected on our national heroes, I admired their mental fitness to stay the course and win our independence.  Here are some quotations that remember our national heroes and can also strengthen our resolve to be strong and heroic.  It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived.  General George S. Patton “It doesn't take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle.” Major General Norman Schwartzkopf "That's what it takes to be a hero, a little gem of innocence inside you that makes you want to believe that there still exists a right and wrong, that decency will somehow triumph in the end.”  Lise Hand "Courage is contagious.  When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened."  Reverend Billy Graham "The hero is the man dedicated to the creation and/or defense of reality-conforming, life-promoting values."  Andrew Berbstein ”A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself."  Joseph Campbell   "The bravest are those who surely have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it."  Thucydides "Heroes take journeys, confront dragons, and discover the treasure of their true selves."  Carol Lynn Pearson "Nurture your minds with great thoughts, to believe in the heroic makes heroes."  Benjamin Disraeli "Courage is resistances to fear, mastery of fear-not absence of fear." "A hero is one who knows how to hang on one minute longer."  Novalis “It is surmounting difficulties that makes heroes."  Louis Pasteur "Without heroes, we are all plain people, and don't know how far we can go."  Bernard Malamud We need and can have the courage and conviction to continue the fight for our independence. Remember, We Will Live Within The Country Created by Our Choices. Dr. Hal Life and Mental Fitness Coach

 

“Heroes take journeys, confront dragons, and discover the treasure of their true selves.”  Carol Lynn Pearson quotes Nurture your minds with great thoughts, to believe in the heroic makes heroes.”  Benjamin Disraeli quotes “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear”  Mark Twain quotes

How Important Are Grandparents?

From a sociological perspective, more and more grandparents are spending their golden years taking care of their grandchildren.  In many societies, grand parenting is a vital part of the family structure.  In our highly mobile society, grandparents are not involved within the family structure.  In our highly disposable society, grandparents may also become disposable.

At least, sometimes, grandparents feel as if there is an expiration date on their relationship with their grandchildren.  Grandparents may feel insecure in their place within the family structure.  They may question their importance.  Some grandparents are fearful of over-extending their boundaries and fearful of self-actualizing in their role as a grandparent.

In the last few weeks, I've been talking to a man who has been extremely concerned about his grandson.  This grandfather had  bonded with his grandson and now does not have any contact with his grandson.  This grandfather made a very difficult decision.  His daughter was abusing drugs.  He confronted his daughter.  Since she was resistant to entering substance abuse treatment, he asked her to leave his home.  She took her son and has refused any contact between her son and the grandfather.  

I have also been talking to a man who has been a wife's nightmare.  He has been a serial cheater.  Analysis of his childhood indicated that he was always fearful of his mother removing him from his grandmother.  He perceived his grandmother as loving him.  He became fearful of forming close relationships.  His wife became like his grandmother.  He knew his wife loved him.  Whenever there was potential conflict, he ran away from his wife into another relationship.

As I thought about these two men, I began thinking about the importance of grand parenting.  Grand parenting can provide psychological security, love, values and stability for grandchildren.  Grand parenting can definitely assist parents in raising their children.

I ask you, how important is grand parenting in your family?  Is it important for you to have grandparents play a crucial role in raising your children?  It is important for your  children's grandparents to feel secure, spontaneous and free to be themselves with your children?

Remember, We Live WIthin the Families Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Letting Go of Bad Behavior, Painful Emotions and Guilt

This weekend Tiger Woods has liberated himself from his separation from golf as he is playing in the Masters.  He has sought treatment for his bad behavior and undoubtedly to reduce his painful emotions and guilt.  Hopefully, he is liberated from his bad behavior, painful emotions and guilt.

I would expect that his golf game may reach new heights with the resolution of his devastating and draining painful emotions and guilt precipitated by his bad behavior.

The purpose of this post is not to discredit Tiger Woods.  The purpose of this post is to provide a plan for all of us to free ourselves from our bad behavior, painful emotions and guilt.  After all, haven't all of us had painful emotions and regrets following bad behavior?  Haven't we all struggle with letting go of problems in our lives?  Haven't we all struggled with letting go of painful emotions and guilt?

Here is a five step program for stopping bad behaviors, painful emotions and guilt.  I call this the L" System.

1.  Limit Your Losses:  This means to stop your bad behaviors.  Also stop thinking the thoughts and giving in to the feelings that rationalized your bad behavior.

2.  Learn:  Learn your bad behavior will always have negative consequences.  Learn your bad behavior will devastate those who care about you and those about whom you care.  Learn your bad behavior violates your values.  Learn that painful emotions and guilt are realistic, when you have engaged in bad behavior.

3.  Liberate Yourself:  After you have limited your losses and have really learned, then you are at the point that you can liberate yourself.  After you have accepted the realities triggered by your bad behavior, it is time to forgive yourself.  Real liberation comes from self forgiveness. Painful emotions and guilt willl remain as long as you are continuing to engage in bad behaviors. Painful emotions and guilt will continue to occupy your mind until you have forgiven yourself.

4.  Letting Go: As you fill your conscious mind with thoughts of self forgiveness, it becomes easier to let go of your bad behaviors, painful emotions and guilt.  Letting go is a conscious choice that is really possible after you've gone through the first three stages.  Letting Go is also fostered by recognizing, making amends and seeking forgiveness from those who have hurt.

 5.  Look Forward: The temptations and negative thinking that generated your past bad behavior must be dealt with in the future.  Once you have gone through this program of acceptance and forgiveness, you can look forward with confidence and determination.  You can have confidence in your learning, forgiveness and determination to avoid bad behaviors.  You can perceive past situations where you engaged in bad behavior as opportunities to strengthen your new behaviors, your enjoyable feelings and peace of mind.

I hope that these five steps will help you find freedom from bad behaviors, painful emotions and guilt.

Remember, You Live within the Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

 

 

Mental Fitness & Obama Healthcare

Today there will be a historic vote regarding the Obama Healthcare Bill.  This bill will have monumental effects as it will redefine the nature of our democracy and further increase the national debt.  Of course, the healthcare bill will also affect each and every American.

For a few moments let us focus off of the bill and think about the representatives who may or may not be voting on a bill that still could be passed without a vote.  I must ask the question.

DO YOU THINK THAT OUR REPRESENTATIVES ARE MENTALLY FIT ENOUGH TO CAST A VOTE ON THE OBAMA HEALTHCARE BILL?

Of course, whether they are mentally fit or not; our Representatives are taking up space in Washington and will at least "present" when the vote is taken or should be taken.

If our Representatives are mentally fit, they will

1. Be focused on representing the people; not focused on party allegiance, pursuing their individual agendas and giving in to the influence of the President or any other important person.

2. Act courageously to represent the people.

3.  Claim their self-respect and success in representing the people rather than pursuing the approval of their party.  Success is representing the people and completing their mission in representing the people.  Success is not determine by the passage or failure to pass a health care bill.

4. Accept all of the frustrations necessary to represent the people and all of the frustrations necessary to fight the influences from those who wish to discount the will of the people, while courageously and persistently representing the people.

5.  Avoid all self-defeating rationalizations and actions that will betray the trust of the people.  Blind allegiance to a party and childlike dependency and cowardice cannot be rationalized in any way.

6.  Make your decision on the basis of American values and moral values.  Is your decision really best for America and the people.  Will the people you represent be happy, peaceful, free and in control of their lives following your representation of them?

7.  Make your decision on the basis of rational and logical thought.  Be honest.  Don't try to convince us that 30 million people will be additionally insured for no additional cost.  Don't try to convince us that Medicare benefits will not be cut.

8.  Relate to the people with honesty, respect, acceptance and trust.  Violate any of these values and you are not welcome to represent us any longer.

9.  Don't underestimate the people.  We want to take care of ourselves, our families and our democracy. Do not attempt to destroy our ability to take care of ourselves!  Do not destroy our ability to take care of our families!  Do not destroy our country!  Remember, taxation without representation led to the birth of America. 

10.  Check your position.  Are you representing the people?  You may have wavered.  You may have succumbed to pressure.  You may have betrayed the public.  Now is the time to get it right.  Choose to represent the people before you vote!

 

REMEMBER, WE WILL LIVE IN THE COUNTRY DETERMINED BY THE CHOICES OF OUR REPRESENTATIVES!

FOR THE REPRESENTATIVES, YOU WILL LIVE WITHIN THE COUNTRY DETERMINED BY OUR CHOICES AFTER YOU HAVE MADE YOUR VOTE!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

I Am Taking Care of Me!

Today, I am feeling under the weather.  I don't feel like doing a long post.  Wondering what to do, I decided to apply the North Star Mental Fitness program to help me decide.

Our Super Bowl & Our Time for a Revolution

Today is Super Bowl Sunday.  Millions of Americans will be riveted in front of their TVs as they watch the New Orleans Saints battle the Indianapolis Colts.

Today I also woke up to an article about Sarah Palin, who delivered a speech last night and claimed that "America is ready for a another revolution".

As I thought about these two epic events,