North Star Mental Fitness Blog

Freedom from Problem-Solving

This is the most important blog I've ever written regarding about mental fitness. I want you to know "If you're fit in your head, you can deal with anything".

We live in a problem oriented society.  For many people life is a depressing merry-go-round of identifying problems and then trying to find solutions for their problems.  People spend most of their lives being preoccupied and worried about their problems, while frantically and incessantly pursuing solutions to their problems.  No matter how many successful solutions you find, life always seems to have more problems in need of solutions.

Before long people are captured by our societal norms and expectations to solve problem.  They live with barren lives consumed with problem solving.  Everywhere people look, there are problems.  Problems surface and resurface regularly.  Problems multiply like rabbits.  Problems, problems and more problems.  People soon live within an environment dominated by problems and the obsessive pursuit of solutions.

Yesterday, I had a very enlightening conversation with one of my clients, who clearly expressed a traditional work ethic.  She also explained how the traditional work ethic of identifying problems and constantly working to find solutions almost killed her.  She had sunk into a world of depression with suicidal ideation, because she could not find solutions to her problems.

This is what she told me.

Mental Fitness- Approval

Mental Fitness Thought for the Day:

Instead of waiting for other people to approve of me,

                       I approve of myself.

Remember, You Live within the Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life the Mental Fitness Coach

Sudden Change

Adversity in Life is inevitable.  Although we know there will be problems in life, we still can be easily devastated and discouraged when unexpected problems burst into our horizon and create chaos in our lives.

"Sudden Change was our term for how we respond to unexpected problems"

explained Bo Schembechler, the very successful coach for so many years at the University of Michigan.  "Turn Mistakes into Momentum" was a chapter in Bo Schembechler and John U. Bacon's book, "Bo's Lasting Lessons; The Legendary Coach Teaches the Timeless Fundamentals of Leadership".

Do you want to turn your mistakes and adversities into momentum for success?  Then read what Bo taught his players about Sudden Change.

Forgiveness Is a Choice

When your focus is on taking care of yourself, you'll have real choices to feel angry and hurt or you can make the choice to forgive.  It is important for you to determine in he specific situations whether it's best for you to remain angry and hurt or to forgive.

There are benefits that derive from being angry and hurt just like there are benefits that derive from forgiving.

I read an article from Newswise entitled "Learning to Forgive May Improve Well-Being".  This article appeared in Mayo Clinic Women's Health Source. 

Newswise wrote "Holding a grudge appears to affect the cardiovascular and nervous systems".  Other research findings were also reported.

Bill Cosby on Taking Care of Others

Bill Cosby is known for his ability to communicate very effectively and for his clear understanding of life.  He has clarified what is important for people to become successful in many facets of their lives.

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone".  This quotation from Bill Cosby expresses the focus and motivations necessary for people to become successful.

From a mental fitness perspective, it is important to learn how to stop pleasing others and focused on self-actualization.  The Big Choice is learning how to take care of yourself and center your life around taking care of yourself rather than others.

Remember, to take care of yourself today and stop trying to please everyone.

The Focus Point and Adversity

The most powerful Focus Point is where there is adversity.

Instead of reacting to the adversity, you are at a Focus Point to make the best choice for taking care of yourself!  Make The Big Choice!

The Power of Asking Questions and the Law of Attraction

Actualizing affirmations and energizing the Law of Attraction can be accomplished by asking questions.

Rowan from the blog, Rowan's Future of Choice, wrote an intriguing article "Finding the Right Question to Ask".

Affirmations and visualizations are methods used to release the Law of Attraction, improve performance and develop mental fitness. 

You can increase the power of affirmations, visualizations and the Law of Attraction by asking the right question!

Directions for Living

Mental Fitness is the result of focusing and committing to taking care of oneself!

"No one should ever be given the job of creating someone else’s happiness. It’s not possible. If you want to be happy, make yourself happy. You are the only one with the power to make yourself happy, the power to control your life, the power to create what you want."

Who said that?  Is he or she right or wrong? Are these Directions for Living right for you?

 

Married 18 Years, When...

Married 18 years, when the midlife crisis hit.  Wesley at Life Two, has been interacting with a woman whose husband is going through a midlife crisis.  "Will My Marriage Survive My Husband's Midlife Crisis"? is the title of Wesley's blog.

"I felt so loved and so blessed to have the marriage that I had. But now he tells me he's not sure if he's happy. Doesn't know what he wants to do. He says he feels like he's going crazy and can't make a decision, she anxiously wrote.

What should she do?

Are You Showing up?

"Showing up" was the title of a recent post by Steve Pavlina.  Steve shared Woody Allen's quote "80% of success is showing up".  Steve elaborated this concept by rightfully concluding, "While merely showing up won't guarantee success, it's certainly is a prerequisite".

Living in abstraction or daydreaming will never generate success.  Turning abstract goals and dreams into a process of "showing up" is necessary for self-fulfillment and development.  Abstract goals must find expression in concrete, active behavior.  "Showing up" on a regular basis will result in 80% success according to Steve.  Steve provided many examples of how to "show up" and enrich your life.

Identifying when it is necessary to "show up" and make major changes in one's life is a major problem for most people.  Helping people realize their need to "show up" is a major problem facing most mental fitness experts and self-help gurus.