North Star Mental Fitness Blog

Why Quitting Smoking Doesn't Work

- Each day, nearly 6,000 children under 18 years of age start smoking
- Nearly 2,000 will become regular smokers.
- Annually 800,000 new smokers join the ranks of the diseased.

Approximately 90 percent of smokers begin smoking before the age of 21. According to the latest smoking statistics in 2001, a national survey of high school students revealed that the overall prevalence of current cigarette use was 28 percent. Nearly 20 percent of 12th graders, 12 percent of 10th graders and 5.5 percent of 8th graders smoke cigarettes daily. These statistics provided by Credible Reviews.

For more statistics on smoking in the text of smoking, I refer you to Smoking Statistics provided by the World Health Organization.

All these statistics indicate the need for people to stop smoking.  The reality is clear.  Smoking is bad for health and the health of others.

Although it is realistically and practically important to stop smoking, motivating yourself to "quit" or "stop" smoking is likely to fail for the following reasons: 

Wrong Solutions For Stopping Smoking Create Relapse!

I received a wonderful comment regarding my blog, Re-wiring Urges.  Lora wrote:

"I LOVED your post on re-wiring the urge to smoke.  I'm a smoker and have quit way too many times to count.  One time lasted 15 years.  So...what else do you have in your bag of tricks for smokers?  I'm all ears!"

Thank you Lora for e-mailing me such a nice comment.  After thinking for a few minutes, I reached into my bag of tricks.  Then my mind wandered back to Lora's dilemma.

Lora's dilemma is well-known to many smokers.  The dilemma is, why do people relapse?  Why can't people maintain a state of quitting?  Why can't people stop smoking forever?

What I found in my bag tricks for non-smokers may surprise you or even shock you.

Can People Be Addicted to Feelings?

Feelings: One of my clients asked me a very surprising question.  She is an attractive, very intelligent woman who has just gone through a painful separation.  Her ex-boyfriend has made it painfully obvious that he has moved on in his life with another woman.  During their relationship, he sometimes treated her very badly.

With tears in her eyes, she said "I love him".  In spite of everything that he has done to her, she feels that she still loves him.  In spite of all of the support and encouragement of her friends and family to accept the breakup, she still loves him.

A little later she asked the question.  A very profound question.  A question I never thought about before.  She asked "can people be addicted to feelings"?

Mental Fitness Is Necessary for Weight Loss

"Work Your Mind, Not Just Your Body" is a very insightful post written by Debbie Rocker at Yahoo Health. Debbie wrote:  "Fitness isn't just physical".

The essence of rational emotive therapy and mental fitness training is expressed in Norman Vincent Peale's statement, "Change your thoughts and you change the world".  This means change your thoughts and you change your weight.

Do you believe this statement made by Debbie: "Let’s not waste time on changing our bodies when they will only change back if we don’t change our minds, too".

Codependency Debunked

Codependency was declared "the most universally accepted counterproductive label in the recovering community and even today creates shortsighted understandings of the recovery process" according to Charles Parker of the Core PsychBlog.

Why did Dr. Parker say that?

Did Unhappy Marriages Really Overcome Those Problems?

"If he ever does that" our marriages is over, she said.  I've also heard the same thing from men.  "If she ever does that, I'm out of here".  These types of statements are often made by people, who can't fathom remaining married, if their spouses "behave badly".

In a study reported by Greg from Live Two, 66% of people unhappy in their marriages, described themselves as happy in their marriages five years later. 

What type of problems made them unhappy?  Did they have to face problems most spouses would describe as nightmares?

I Thought Everything Was Fine; Then It's Gone!

"I thought everything was fine, then it's gone".  Her statement struck me as I felt her pain.  Her eyes welled up with tears.  She was empty, sad and hurt.  Recent joy in their marriage was crushed under the pain of her husband's drinking again.

She went on to say "I knew he had been drinking".  He lied about his drinking.  He had another blackout.  He didn't recall calling her names or the hurtful things he said to her in his rage.  What he said, haunted her.

She had experienced that thought before.  It was when she heard about her parent's divorce.  The thought echoed in her mind, "I thought everything was fine, then it's gone".

"Messing up" And the Pursuit of Long-Range Goals

Pursuing long-range goals is a form of "messing up"?

No, pursuing long-range goals is not a form of "messing up", unless:

5 Tips to Stop Pre-Adolescent Drug Use

"Pre--teens are experimenting with drugs and alcohol as early as age 11, catching parents by surprise," reported mental health professionals from the The Meninger Clinic.  Because parents don't have the expectation that children have access to drugs before they are adolescents, many parents fail to recognize the signs and symptoms of substance abuse by their children.

Norma Clark, M.D., medical director of the Meninger Adolescent Treatment Program said "the kids we treat have been using for quite some time before their parents figure it out".

"They convince their parents that they are not using, because their parents don't want to believe they are using".  Even doctors often fail to ask about drug use by children.

Motivations that Create Deprivation

Not all motivations are created equal.  Some motivations don't create deprivation.  When people make changes without experiencing deprivation, their changes will be permanent.

Some motivations create deprivation.  When the conscious mind senses a state of deprivation created in the unconscious mind, the conscious mind will sabotage the efforts of the unconscious mind.  As a result people fail.

For years I lost my wrestling match with my smoking addiction. All of my creative endeavors to control my smoking failed.  Finally I had to admit that smoking controlled me.

After admitting to my smoking addiction, I always seemed to get sidetracked on my road to Recovery.

I finally was able to break free of my addiction, by changing my motivation for change.