North Star Mental Fitness Blog

Mindsets For Success

What motivates you?  What is your mindset?  Your mindset is important in every aspect of your life.

We have a very depressing economy.  The value of our property is depreciating due to the mortgage fiasco.  Many people are worried about maintaining their employment or have lost their employment.  Financial pressures magnify problems within marriages and families.

Your mindset determines your financial, interpersonal and psychological status in your life!  Today I would like to talk about three different mindsets.

When things go bad in life, many people often exercise the mindset of "not losing".  They seem to have a mindset that says "I don't want to lose".  Although this mindset may be appropriate at some times in our lives, it usually results in people becoming defensive and protective of themselves and their resources.  They try to hold on to what they have rather than increasing what they have.  They try to hold onto who they have been rather than growing and changing.  They are motivated to not lose rather than to win!

The second mindset is a mindset to win.  With this mindset a person is motivated and dedicated to win.  No matter how bad the circumstances are, this person is motivated to win at all costs.  You probably have heard the saying "when the going gets tough, the tough get going"!  With this mindset, people, often times, are obsessed with winning.  They view life as competition and they always have to win.  They seem to not enjoy what they accomplish and who they are.  They are devastated when they cannot win.

The third mindset is a mindset leading to self-actualization and growth.  Problems in living are perceived to be opportunities; opportunities for learning, changing and growing.  Dr. Alan Goldberg put it this way "You must let go of that obsessive need to win or beat others (which is actually limiting you) and instead focus on being the very best that YOU can be. Simply put you must make your goal improvement, NOT winning.

Steve Siebold writes about the differences in mindsets between the middle class and millionaires in his new book, How Rich People Think.   Steve wrote  "It's no mystery why 1% of Americans own 42% of the country's wealth. The good news is the rich are no smarter than the rest of us, they just think differently about money. The secret is to learn their thought processes, habits and philosophies and copy them. It's that simple, and this is what this book is all about."

In your relationships, are you:

1. Trying to not lose?
2. Trying to win?
3. Trying to grow and be yourself?

In your financial life, are you:

1. Trying to not lose?
2. Trying to win?
3. Trying to grow and be yourself?Remember,

Remember, We Live within the Relationship and Finances Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

I Am an Awesome Person!

She has large brown eyes and a big smile on her face as she anxiously and then more confidently shocked me with her self-assessment. 

"IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO ME, I AM AN AWESOME PERSON"!

She went on to tell me how important it is to not allow her past to influence her life.  Although she is only 16, she expressed a mindset crafted by very few people.

You might ask what could have happened to her in 16 years.

Letting Go of Bad Behavior, Painful Emotions and Guilt

This weekend Tiger Woods has liberated himself from his separation from golf as he is playing in the Masters.  He has sought treatment for his bad behavior and undoubtedly to reduce his painful emotions and guilt.  Hopefully, he is liberated from his bad behavior, painful emotions and guilt.

I would expect that his golf game may reach new heights with the resolution of his devastating and draining painful emotions and guilt precipitated by his bad behavior.

The purpose of this post is not to discredit Tiger Woods.  The purpose of this post is to provide a plan for all of us to free ourselves from our bad behavior, painful emotions and guilt.  After all, haven't all of us had painful emotions and regrets following bad behavior?  Haven't we all struggle with letting go of problems in our lives?  Haven't we all struggled with letting go of painful emotions and guilt?

Here is a five step program for stopping bad behaviors, painful emotions and guilt.  I call this the L" System.

1.  Limit Your Losses:  This means to stop your bad behaviors.  Also stop thinking the thoughts and giving in to the feelings that rationalized your bad behavior.

2.  Learn:  Learn your bad behavior will always have negative consequences.  Learn your bad behavior will devastate those who care about you and those about whom you care.  Learn your bad behavior violates your values.  Learn that painful emotions and guilt are realistic, when you have engaged in bad behavior.

3.  Liberate Yourself:  After you have limited your losses and have really learned, then you are at the point that you can liberate yourself.  After you have accepted the realities triggered by your bad behavior, it is time to forgive yourself.  Real liberation comes from self forgiveness. Painful emotions and guilt willl remain as long as you are continuing to engage in bad behaviors. Painful emotions and guilt will continue to occupy your mind until you have forgiven yourself.

4.  Letting Go: As you fill your conscious mind with thoughts of self forgiveness, it becomes easier to let go of your bad behaviors, painful emotions and guilt.  Letting go is a conscious choice that is really possible after you've gone through the first three stages.  Letting Go is also fostered by recognizing, making amends and seeking forgiveness from those who have hurt.

 5.  Look Forward: The temptations and negative thinking that generated your past bad behavior must be dealt with in the future.  Once you have gone through this program of acceptance and forgiveness, you can look forward with confidence and determination.  You can have confidence in your learning, forgiveness and determination to avoid bad behaviors.  You can perceive past situations where you engaged in bad behavior as opportunities to strengthen your new behaviors, your enjoyable feelings and peace of mind.

I hope that these five steps will help you find freedom from bad behaviors, painful emotions and guilt.

Remember, You Live within the Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

 

 

The Power of Acceptance

There is power in acceptance! 

Tiger Woods: Addiction And Mental Fitness

This last week Tiger Woods made his public apology regarding his sexual infidelities or sexual addiction. 

Debate has raged over whether he has a sexual addiction or

Our Super Bowl & Our Time for a Revolution

Today is Super Bowl Sunday.  Millions of Americans will be riveted in front of their TVs as they watch the New Orleans Saints battle the Indianapolis Colts.

Today I also woke up to an article about Sarah Palin, who delivered a speech last night and claimed that "America is ready for a another revolution".

As I thought about these two epic events,

Living New Year's Resolutions

As we approach the beginning of another New Year, you can turn New Year's Resolutions into Successes with a mental fitness procedure. 

Most people fail in keeping their resolutions because of lack of focus, weak commitment and insufficient will power. 

Successfully, reach your New Year's goals by using The Power Choice from the North Star Mental Fitness Program.  You do not need will power to be successful.

From a mental fitness perspective, there are three necessary steps for success.  

Health and Taking Care of You

Oftentimes, it is extremely difficult to remember or take the time to do what is necessary to maximize our good health.  It seems that as we get older, there are more things that need to be done just to keep moving.  It is easy to get discouraged and forget to follow through with our never ending prescriptions for good health.

The number of medications increases.  Exercise no longer is sufficient.  More and more specific procedures are prescribed.  We are given exercises for specific parts of the body are necessary.  We have more and more individually designed braces, etc.  More and more doctors become involved in our lives.  More and more forms of therapy.  Keeping and maintaining good health is not for sissies. 

I have found that sometimes it is easier to motivate myself to do what is necessary for my health by focusing on the bigger picture.  The big picture is "I am committed to taking care of me"!  I now do or try to do whatever is necessary to take care of me.  When I take a medication and think of it as taking care of me rather than just as taking a medication, it seems to change my mindset.  I feel more committed and happier to perform all of the daunting tasks necessary for good health. 

Remember, only you can take good care of you!  Perform the tedious and routine necessities for maintaining good health, by focusing on the real important issue.  You have the opportunity to take care of youself? 

The Value of Exercise

Jorg Blech wrote about many benefits from exercising in his book, Healing Through Exercise.  Healthhabits presented some of the scientific findings.  I thought you might like to read about these benefits from exercising.

These were reported as scientific findings"

• Exercise is the strongest known stimulus to growing new nerve cells in your brain


• Children need active play in order to develop their mental abilities


• Physically inactive men have reduced libidos (along with super-sized Viagra prescriptions)


• Exercise has been shown to offset type 2 diabetes


• Previously inactive senior citizens have been able to regain mobility and independence by following an exercise prescription


• Exercise increases bone density


• Aerobic exercise has been effective in reducing cholesterol and blood pressure


• Exercise can induce cellular repair through the creation of stem cells


• New blood vessels are created by aerobic exercise


• Exercise reduces the effects of osteoarthritis


• Exercise is being recommended for back pain sufferers


• Children with ADHD have reduced symptoms with play therapy


• Exercise therapy has been more effective than drugs in treating mild to moderate depression


• Exercise protects the brain from Alzheimers


• A number have cancers have responded well to exercise


• Exercise plays a strong role in preventing obesity


• Physical activity is common in societies known for their longevity, and


• Exercise just make you feel better

Wow!  More reasons to exercise.  Is there enough value in exercising for you to exercise regularly?

Remember, We Live Within the Bodies Created by Our Choices!

I WANT FREEDOM FROM

New Year's Resolutions-what has happened to your New Year's resolutions?  It does not matter what your resolutions were.  What matters is whether you are going to be successful! 

Most people will give up on their resolutions before the end of the month.  It is only two weeks into the new year.  Are you still on course to realize your dreams?

Are you celebrating each day's success toward achieving your goal?

Or has the going become tedious?  Are you struggled with quitting?

Has what you wanted turned into what you have to do? 

Do you find yourself struggling and motivating yourself out of the desperate feeling that you just have to reach your goals?

Or have you convinced yourself that you can't be successful or you really didn't want to be successful in actualizing a resolution?

The purpose of this post is to encourage you to try one of the most basic mental fitness strategies.  Don't motivate yourself out of what you "should" do or "have" to do.  Motivate yourself out of freedom!  Motivate yourself out of what you want!

As I have said before, if you motivate yourself out of words that we use to punish, you will not reach long-range and permanent success.  We do not want to equate your successful endeavors with a feeling of punishment.  No one likes to be punished forever.  If success feels like punishment, then success turns into failure when we no longer want to be punished.

I would like to have you consider motivating yourself with the words "I want freedom from".  Some of you may want freedom from being obese.  Others may want freedom from smoking or any addiction.  Still others may want freedom from being unfaithful.  Others may want freedom from anger and rage.  Many want freedom from despair and depression.  There are many people want freedom from anxiety.  Many many of us want freedom poor health.

No matter what your problem is, you can motivate yourself by thinking that you want freedom from your problem.  In fact, that more you think about becoming free from your problem the more freedom you will experience. 

To refresh your mind, repeat the thought "I want freedom from this problem"frequently throughout the day. 

When you have the opportunity to actualize or destroy your dream, verbalize to yourself "I want freedom from this problem". 

Before long you may surprise yourself.  You will begin to feel the excitement, energy and courage generated by freedom.  You'll have the power of freedom to overcome your problem.