How to Be a Star in Your Relationships

Magic Johnson was a basketball star by any one's standards.  He was a star on his high school and college teams, which were championship teams.  He was selected first in the 1979 NBA by the Los Angeles Lakers.  This was a very wise choice as Magic helped his team win a championship in his first year of professional basketball.  He won the MVP award for the finals that year.  Over his career he was the star on five NBA championship teams.  To read about more of his accomplishments, read the article on Magic from Wikipedia.

Magic valued his team members and team.  He realized that to win, he needed to bring out the best in his teammates.  Being the star, one would expect that he wanted his teammates to do what was ever necessary to make him a bigger star.

Wrong!  Magic did not expect or want his teammates to focus on bringing out Magic's talents and skills.  Instead Magic realized and believed that his goal was to help his teammates reach their potential and refine their skills.

Magic applied Pres. John F. Kennedy's famous lines from President Kennedy's January 20, 1961 Inaugural Address.

Magic's wisdom was expressed in these powerful words as written by Pat Riley's in his book, "The Winner Within".

"Ask not what your teammates can do for you.  Ask what you can do for your teammates."

Let's apply these words to our personal relationships.  After all, Pat Riley emphasized the importance of the family, when he wrote "the first and most important team in anyone's life is their family".

For husbands who want to be a star in their relationship, Ask not what your wife can do for you.  Ask what you can do for your wife.

For wives who want to be a star in their relationship, Ask not what your husband can do for you.  Ask what you can do for your husband.

It is very difficult, but important to step outside of our selfishness.  Too often we limit ourselves to expecting our spouse's job is to make our lives better and help us become more successful.  Too often we expect our spouses to live up to our expectations, satisfy our needs and achieve our goals. We expect our spouses to be our supporting cast.

One of the 50 greatest NBA players, Magic has a lot to teach us about teams and teamwork.  No matter how good or gifted we are in our relationship, our goal is not to be self-centered and demand attention.  Instead Magic gives us the secret of a satisfying, electrifying and victorious team. 

The secret is to encourage and help our partners achieve their goals and potential.  Our focus should be to bring out the best in our partners.  Our goal is to be empathetic and encouraging rather than critical.  Our goal is to be loving and empowering rather than judgmental.  Our goal is to be grateful rather than demanding.

Are you willing to commit to Magic's philosophy regarding successful teams?  Are you willing to enable your spouse to be the star for the well-being of your spouse and the team?

Remember, We Live within the Relationships Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach