North Star Mental Fitness Blog

Relationship First Aid

Here are four ways you can improve your relationships.  The first three ideas were written in a post "Managing Your Mind: Relationship Part Two.  I have also added the fourth idea. 

1.  "Work on changing yourself, not on changing others". 

2.  "Changes take time.  When you change the way in which you relate to others, they may resist that change and do things to make you change back."

3.  "Work with people as they are" and

4.  "Focus on creating the type of relationships you want rather than reacting and escalating conflicts.

Applying these four ideas in your relationships can significantly reduce conflicts and painful feelings. 

Remember, You Live within Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Which Is More Harmful for Your Health?

Do you think excess body fat or self-defeating thoughts are most harmful for your physical health?

I read an interesting post, from Physical Fitness 3.  The author made the startling statement:

"Have you ever thought of how much extra, unnecessary thoughts, which are more harmful to you than bodily fat, keeps accumulating in your mind continuously, leading you towards all kinds of maladies and diseases? Yes, your unhealthy mind is a major factor behind even your most common cold, fever, stomach infections, etc.

Most of our energy is utilised in accumulating and processing unnecessary thoughts from the past and anxiety about the future. Diseases are nothing but our constant mental struggle between thoughts of our past and anxieties about our future. Dropping both our past and future and living in the only reality - the present is the only way to remain healthy."

We know there is a mind-body connection.  There is no doubt that our mental health and thinking affects our health.  There are probably many different ways that self-defeating thoughts from the past create or intensify physical symptoms and illnesses. 

Learning to live in the present is important.  Meditation is one way of reducing the adverse effect of negative and self-defeating thinking on our health.

Learning how neutralize and turn self-defeating thoughts into constructive thoughts for good health is also a powerful way to improve physical health and decrease physical symptoms.

Our thinking can help heal or make us sick!

It is important for you to answer this question for yourself.

Is excess weight or self-defeating thinking more harmful for my well-being?

Mental Fitness Programs Are Not the Same

Cognitive fitness and mental fitness programs are becoming more popular and prolific.  When I first began the North Star Mental Fitness Program in the late 1980s, mental and cognitive training programs did not exist. 

The North Star Mental Fitness Program is really a Life Fitness program designed to make the mind function in a more organized, efficient, confident and focused manner. 

Repetition of successful thought patterns is the basis of this program.  The thought patterns were discovered in the process of psychological counseling of hundreds of clients.

The North Star Mental Fitness Program consists of 15 thought patterns or exercises.  This program, for example, provides exercises to help people make choices to:

• Learn how to become free from your past or current problems,
• Learn how to recognize when you need to make changes in your life,
• Learn how to maintain successful life focusing,
• Learn the three step process for success,
• Learn the successful strategy for coping with frustration,
• Learn how to turn self-defeating problems into successes,
• Learn to live a balanced life,
• Learn how to live in the present,
• Learn how to have satisfying and sensitive relationships. 

Are You Shortchanging Yourself?

How important  is it to treat the mind as well as the body, after a person has been diagnosed with a serious illness?

The American Psychological Association answered the question.  Here is the answer. 

"When people are ill, it's important to deal with the illness on the physical, emotional and spiritual levels.  If you treat just the body, you short-change yourself.

We don't know exactly how the mind/body connection works, but we do have biochemical evidence that there's a connection."

When you or someone important to you is diagnosed with a serious illness,  make sure you do not ignore your or their psychological and spiritual well-being.  It is extremely important to have a healthy mindset to cope with the illness and work through the depression that is triggered by a diagnosis of serious health diagnosis.  The mind and spirit can help or hinder the healing of the body.

Do You Know Why?

Have you ever wondered why people exercise?

Do you know why they continue to exercise?

In my last post, Do You Believe That Your Life Experiences Have Made You Mentally Fit, I emphasized that life experiences, although grueling at times, do not make us physically or mentally fit.

In order to become mentally or physically fit, it is necessary to go beyond the experiences of everyday living and perform exercises on a regular basis.

So what are the general benefits for becoming mentally and physically fit?

First of all, mental and physical fitness can make us healthier.  Don't we all want to be healthier?

Secondly, mental and physical fitness training makes us stronger for managing our everyday lives.  Mental and physical fitness training can make us stronger for coping with the stresses and demands of everyday living.

Successful managing of life experiences will not necessarily make us physically and mentally stronger.  In contrast, successful mental and physical fitness training will make us stronger in managing life experiences.

If you want to be physically stronger in coping with everyday life experiences, then commit to a physical fitness program.

If you want to be mentally and emotionally stronger for coping with everyday life experiences, then commit to a mental fitness program like The North Star Mental Fitness Program.

Remember, You Live within Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Do You Believe That Your Life Experiences Have Made You Mentally Fit?

Every day of your life you are and have been making decisions.  Basically, you are making good decisions and sometimes very difficult decisions.  Have you been successful in completing your educational vocational goals?  

You will probably agree with the following statement. You could not have obtained your current status in life without sweating, thinking clearly and making difficult decisions. 

Aren't you challenged everyday when you cope with life's frustrations and problems?  Life is full of problems, which you face on a daily basis.  You have made the best choices available to you.  This I firmly believe.

Therefore, it is a no-brainer.  You have been successful and are successful.  You have shown some mental strength, courage, and persistence by coping with your life on a daily basis.  You have used your mental resources on a daily basis.

I must emphasize that I do not wish to offend anyone by suggesting that they need mental fitness training.  I do not want to depreciate anyone's abilities to succeed and their current efforts in coping with their lives.

However, mental fitness is a lot like physical fitness.  There was a time that people thought they did not need physical fitness training.  They thought that coping with the ordinary physical demands of their everyday living would make them physically fit.  We now know that that is a false belief.  Living one's life on a daily basis does not make a person physically fit.  If a person wants to be physically fit, then they must focus and commit to exercising on a frequent basis.

Likewise, coping with the mental demands of everyday living will not make you mentally fit.  You can have mental successes in coping with your life without mental fitness training.  However, coping with the mental demands of everyday living will not make you mentally fit.

Mental fitness and physical fitness are a lot alike.  Coping with the everyday demands of life do not make a person physically or mentally fit.  If you want to be mentally and physically fit, it is important to do mental and physical exercises.

If you thought that coping with everyday problems and life situations would make you mentally fit, might you be missing something?

Remember, You Will Live within the Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Symptoms Are Signals

In my last post, I wrote about a finding from the American Psychological Association survey.  I could hardly believe that 35% of diagnosed clients with a serious medical condition do nothing to change their behavior or lifestyle.  These people are in serious trouble.

From a mental fitness perspective, medical symptoms are signals.  Many of us fail to recognize medical symptoms as signals.  As a result these symptoms can increase and become more severe.  Finally a very serious medical diagnosis is made by a physician.  Being told by your doctor that you have a serious medical condition should be a very clear signal.  It should be one a massive wake-up call.

Medical symptoms and medical diagnoses are signals, but what are they signaling?  First of all, they are signaling you to seek medical attention and follow the advice of your doctors.

Secondly, you are getting a very clear signal that you may need to make significant changes in your thinking, behavior and lifestyle. 

You are getting a clear signal that it might be time to give up bad habits such as smoking, drinking, overeating and laziness.

You are a being given a clear signal to do what is ever necessary to cope with your stresses and problems in everyday living more effectively.  You are being given a signal to become more focused and take control of your life.

In order to become more focused and in control of your life, it may be very necessary for you to improve your mental and physical fitness.  How to improve your mental fitness will be the subject of future posts.

What is important to remember about medical symptoms and diagnoses?  First, you need to depend on your doctor and follow his advice.  Secondly, you need to depend on yourself to change your thinking, behavior and lifestyle in order to become healthy. 

Do You Have An Attention Problem?

Life decisions begin the moment you awaken and end when you go to sleep at night.  During your waking hours, you make hundreds of decisions.  The nature of your particular circumstances will not matter.  What matters is the fact that you are perpetually making difficult, life decisions throughout the day.

Life decisions are becoming more difficult, because of the economy and raising fuel costs. 

Some people face unemployment and almost everyone has less money to spend.  Less money coming in relatively speaking, with no reduction in bills.

Life decisions are economically important and demanding.  Life decisions are also social, interpersonal and familial.  We make hundreds of decisions regarding our relationships,  Life decisions are continually being made in our marriages, our significant relationships, parenting our children, coping with familial problems and adjusting to major losses and changes in our relationships.

Life decisions are always necessary and challenging.  Nothing ever stays the same.

During the day you have attended to the boring and unimaginable events, routines, relationships, activities and feelings associated with everyday living. Sometimes, you have attended to the point of exhaustion

So, why would I ask if you have an attention problem?  The answer is simple.  I am not suggesting that you have ADD or ADHD.  There are other ways to have attention problems.

How many times during your busy day have you checked to make sure that you are on target to reach your goals or your dreams or to take care of yourselves? 

Have you lost sight of your goals, dreams and the need to take care of yourself, because of the demands of everyday living?

Throughout the day, you have made very difficult decisions, but have you been focused on taking care of yourself?  Have you been attending to taking care of you?  Have you had been attending to do what is necessary to reach your dreams and achieve her goals?

It is possible to be extremely responsible and still fail to do what is best for yourself!  If you had thought about taking care of yourself throughout the day, would you have made different decisions?  Would you become more focused and organized?

I urge you to pay attention and focus on taking care of yourself when you making your daily decisions. 

 Mental fitness means you are able to remain focused on taking care of yourself even when you are making your life decisions throughout the day.

Remember, You Live within the Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

Would You Give up If Diagnosed with a Chronic Medical Condition?

This is a question we all hope that we never have to answer.  Yet it is a realistic question.  A questions faced by many Americans every day.

What would you do if you were diagnosed with a chronic medical condition?

Would you lack the mindset, mental fitness, emotional determination and motivation to make lifestyle and behavioral changes following the diagnosis?

Probably it is easy to think "of course I'd make whatever lifestyle changes are necessary".  It is easy to think positively, before we have been diagnosed with a chronic medical condition.

But what would you really do, if today you are diagnosed with a chronic medical condition?

An American Psychological Association survey discovered "only 35% report that they would modify their behavior following the diagnosis of a chronic medical condition".

I was shocked that only 35% would be willing to modify their lifestyle and make changes.  Upon further thinking, I believe that this percentage is probably true.

I am left with wondering why such a low percentage of people don't realize the necessity to make changes in their lifestyle and behavior.  What are the reasons you think people don't make changes?

Dr. Hal

Don't Forget The Importance of Our Minds

The possibility of retraining the brain has perhaps been the greatest discovery in the last century.  For years, the possibility of training or retraining the brain did not exist.  Now that we realize that the brain operates under neuroplasticity, a new frontier is in front of us.

Michael J. Formica, MA wrote an interesting article, Neuroplasticity:  the Revolution in Neuroscience and Psychology.  Michael wrote,  "Do I sound excited? I am. When I was first introduced to the idea of neuroplasticity, I thought it was interesting. The more I learn about the subject, the more I realize that we are on a frontier."

Sharon Begley wrote the book "Train Your Mind and Change Your Brain".  Sharon emphasized the importance of training one's mind to to change the brain.  In this book, she presents the exciting research regarding changing brain.  The excitement of discovering neuroplasticity had placed a great emphasis on the brain. 

Sharon Begley wrote in Train Your Mind, Kick the Habit"

"Just to be clear, if cognitive-behavior therapy works to reduce drug cravings—and years of research on addiction treatment has suggested that it can, at least in some people—then that should be enough. But there is no denying the power of the neuro-paparazzi: When scientists can produce a dramatic picture demonstrating how some intervention alters patterns of brain activity that underlie a disease or problematic behavior , it is more persuasive than if they merely reported that people's behavior had changed."

Researchers have developed numerous programs to change the brain.  In our excitement to change the brain, let's not forget the importance of changing our minds.  It is extremely important to perform exercises to change our minds in order to improve the quality of our lives. 

Let's not lose sight of the importance of changing the quality of our lives, which we can do by changing our minds.

Remember, We Live within the Environment Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach