Freedom from Problem-Solving

This is the most important blog I've ever written regarding about mental fitness. I want you to know "If you're fit in your head, you can deal with anything".

We live in a problem oriented society.  For many people life is a depressing merry-go-round of identifying problems and then trying to find solutions for their problems.  People spend most of their lives being preoccupied and worried about their problems, while frantically and incessantly pursuing solutions to their problems.  No matter how many successful solutions you find, life always seems to have more problems in need of solutions.

Before long people are captured by our societal norms and expectations to solve problem.  They live with barren lives consumed with problem solving.  Everywhere people look, there are problems.  Problems surface and resurface regularly.  Problems multiply like rabbits.  Problems, problems and more problems.  People soon live within an environment dominated by problems and the obsessive pursuit of solutions.

Yesterday, I had a very enlightening conversation with one of my clients, who clearly expressed a traditional work ethic.  She also explained how the traditional work ethic of identifying problems and constantly working to find solutions almost killed her.  She had sunk into a world of depression with suicidal ideation, because she could not find solutions to her problems.

This is what she told me.

In a very short period of time, her life had fallen apart.  She was unemployed.  She was a single mom who depended on her mother for assistance in raising her daughter.  Her mother no longer could assist her.  She had legal problems.  She had financial problems.  She did not have a significant other in her life.  After identifying all these problems, she did not have any solutions.

She was very unhappy life, because she was preoccupied with identifying problems and her inability to find solutions to these problems.  I know she's not alone.  I know there are many many people who have a similar mindset for managing their life.  They continually identify problems and seek solutions for their problems.  Over time life becomes boring and dissatisfying with this mindset.

What really depressed her was her inability to find solutions for her problems.  She felt depressed, overwhelmed, helpless and hopeless.  In her words she said "I no longer cared what happened to me".

When I began working with her, I informed her that we would not try to identify problems or find solutions to any of her problems. 

Instead, I focused her taking care of herself and making decisions that were best for her for the moment.  I did not encourage her to think past one day. 

Her focus was to make the best decisions for herself on a daily basis.  It did not matter how big or small her decisions were.  The only important thing was that she made decisions that were best for her.

With this new mindset, many of her past, unsolved problems no longer existed.  She no longer identifies problems.  She no longer tries to find solutions to her problems.  Her only goal is to keep "her head fit".

Excitedly she told me, "If you're fit in your head, you can deal with anything".

The essence of mental fitness is to become mentally fit. 

The goal of mental fitness is to be strong enough and courageous enough to take care of yourself on a daily basis. 

The essence of mental fitness is not identifying problems and trying to find solutions for problems.

Focus on being yourself rather than getting trapped by our cultural mindset to live a life of problem-solving.

Remember, You Live within the Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach