One of the purposes of this blog site is to apply sport psychology in the stadium of human experience outside of sports. Sport psychology as written about in "Bo's Lasting Lessons, The Legendary Coach Teaches the Timeless Fundamentals of Leadership".
As I read chapter 19, "Listen Before You Lead" I realized what Bo said really applied to being a husband.
But first Bo wrote about his image, which certainly is seemingly not conducive to being a good husband.
"Look, I m fully aware that my public image is--how can I put this?--that of a cantankerous guy who rants up and down the sidelines screaming at people and smashing headsets. But that is what you saw on Saturday--although that is pretty much how I acted at practice during the week, too. But what you didn't see was how we talked to each other during the week."
I am not suggesting that husbands rant and rave to their wives and children, so they can be like Bo. Too many husbands already act like Bo in this regard. They rant up and down the sidelines in their homes. Unfortunately, ranting husbands fail to understand the importance of liking their wives and children. They do not listen.
Here is what Bo had to say to husbands.
These quotations have been altered by me to make them apply for a husband relating to his wife. I replaced Bo's use of the words "people", "person" and "player" with the word "wife".
"If you do not like your wife, you will not take the time to get to know her, and if you don't get to know her, you will have no idea what scares her, what inspires her, what motivates her. If you don't listen to what you wife has to say, you will not know when she has a problem with you--and you will not know when you have a problems with her, either."
Bo even shared his observation he make of tough Vince Lombardi taking a suggestion from Bart Starr. The shocked Bo wrote:
"I was surprised--but I saw it happen, right before my eyes. There Lombardi was, looking right at Starr--listening, not interrupting--and then agreeing. The great Vince Lombardi telling his quarterback, 'We're going to do it your way'".
Wouldn't wives like their husbands to say "We're going to do it your way"?
Bo demanded:
"Write this down: You cannot lead if you do not listen. Even if you're doing everything else right, if your wife comes to you with a good idea--or a personal problem--and it just goes in one ear and out the other, You Will Fail.
Bo wrote about the urgency of listening and being available for your wife.
"If my wife comes down to see me, for any reason, I am always to be interrupted. I'm sorry, folks, but you just can't build a team if you don't know your wife, and when the chips are down for her, that's when she needs you the most."
This will be my last quote from the book. My advice to any wife reading this blog. Get this book for your husband. It is easy reading and it uses the language of sports to communicate what you have been trying to get your husband to know about you and relationships. Consider getting this book for your husband now. This book is full of great ideas for becoming better husbands.
Let Bo tell your husband:
"Your wife has to know that her value to you and your team is not determined just by what she does, but by who she is. I can't make it any clearer than that."
Remember, We Live Within the Relationships Created by Our Choices!
Dr. Hal
Life and Mental Fitness Coach
P.S. This is also a good book for wifes, mothers and fathers to read.
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