The Power of "Its Okay"

Death!  Dying!  His wife is dying of cancer. 

He is a strong, gentle man.  Today he looks exhausted, weakened, vigilant and almost vacant.  His reports his wife survived another crisis and hospitalization.  Still, the doctor's words haunt him.  He wonders what is next.  He sees his wife's declining ability to cope with life.  He is tired, but committed to be there for his wife.

Today, he seems confused, emotionally distraught and filled with guilt.  He's been known to be impatient.  Now it's been four years.  He has been patiently attending to his wife. 

Thoughts triggered by his inability to escape the reality of what is slowly happening to his wife are covering him guilt.

He doesn't know what to say.  I don't know what to say.  Word seems so empty, so trite.  As I struggled with what to say or do, a smile came over his face.  He noticeably relaxed.  He asked me,

"Do you remember what we talked about five or six weeks ago?"  Honestly, I told him I had no idea what he was thinking.  Since there have been so many things we've talked about in the last five or six weeks, I wondered how he could expect me to know what he recalled.

He must have seen my frustration.  He remembered two short words.  He said "it's okay".

I smiled.  I felt relieved.  With two words, he had turned the unacceptable into being acceptable.

With his big warm, teary eyes he looked at me and said, "it's okay that she has cancer."  I looked at him and I'm sure my eyes must've been exploding out of my head.  I was so amazed and overwhelmed with what he said. 

He continued, "It's okay that she is dying.  It's okay that it's been so emotionally difficult for us.  What I feel and think, it's okay".  As I looked at him, I too began to feel it.  I replied back, "it's okay".

After we hugged and he had left my office, I continued to feel and visualize his pain relieved by his affirmation of acceptance, "it's okay". 

I decided to share with you this experience, because I believe all of us are struggling and fighting acceptance of the unacceptable, unwanted, but realistic twists, turns, detours and deaths in our lives. 

Maybe you to can feel the power and acceptance in his words "it's okay".

Remember, You Live within Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

"it's okay" is an example of words evoking powerful emotions as brought to my attention by Karen Lynch in her post, Words As Tools, at Live the Power.

Comments

[Holly Schwendiman]

There is so much power in the way we think and verbalize things like this. It is okay, it is going to be okay even if it doesn't feel that way sometimes. Thanks for the reminder.

Hugs,
Holly
Here via the Carnival of Family Life. :)

[kailani]

I think that once you accept something, it makes it a little easier to move on.

Thank you for sharing this with the Carnival of Family Life!

[Karen Lynch-Live the Power]

Wow, Dr. Hal,
this is a Powerful post! My eyes started tingling with tears and I got goosebumps! So powerful when acceptance comes!
I don't know if you had intended this for my "Unlimited Power" post
for the 7/7 celebration but I would absolutely love to share it with the others.
Thanks!
Karen

[dr. Hal]

Karen,

Thank you for your comments. Feel free to share the article as you see fit.

[Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker]

Thanks for sharing. Sometimes accepting a situation is all that we can do in order to move forward.

[jean griffith]

Speaking as his Mother.
This brought big tears in my eyes. No it made me cry ...To think he is such a wonderful caring Son to me. And we face this Tragedy. But, we will face it together as a family. And I too need to accept. ( It'S o. k. WITH HIM )