The Mental Glue

  Glue is in the carpenter's toolbox. Glue is a substance used to attach  or connect substances to another. 

Glue can also be used to associate thoughts, feelings, perceptions, behaviors and relationship skills with the important people in your life.

The Mental Glue will help you build strong relationships after you have removed the clutter and clogs from your relationships.  Yesterday, I wrote about The Mental Plunger for declogging your life when you are stuck and for removing sources of "messing up in your life".   Declogging your life must be followed by building your life.

Often, relationship conflicts are caused by emotions that rage out of control.  I am convinced that relationship conflicts are associated with  temporary memory deficits.  That is, people react with  destructive expression of emotions, forgetting that they are communicating and relating with somebody  they love.

Let me tell you how The Mental Glue can be used to repair and renovate your  memory and life.

Phil Gerbyshak from Make It Great had a very informative article in Lifehacks Edition: Five for Friday.  Phil recommended 5 resources for repairing and renovating your life. 

One of the resources was a post, 10 Ways to Hack Your Brain from The Optimized Life.  This is a must read article for improving your memory.  Mind mapping is the sixth procedure for improving memory. 

One of the best ways to learn new things is to relate what you want to learn with something you already know. This is known as association and it is the mental glue that drives
your brain.

Wow!  Association is The Mental Glue that drives your brain!

Please, visualize and use The Mental Glue.

The Mental Glue is necessary to attach nurturing perceptions to the people we love rather than dwelling on their problems and shortcomings. 

In Mixing Memory there was a very interesting blog about the importance of relationship perceptions.  The findings were: 

"In the case of a satisfied partner, he or she is motivated to believe that his or her partner has a wealth of positive attributes, while a dissatisfied partner is motivated to believe that his or her partner has few positive attributes (thus making it possible to attribute the relationship problems to the other person, and justifying one's dissatisfaction." 

"Contrary to the common wisdom (even among psychologists, especially therapists), though, realism and satisfaction tend to make poor bedfellows, with our satisfaction decreasing as our awareness of our partners' faults increases." 

The Mental Glue is necessary to attach core values to our relationships.  Kammie from Passion Meets Purpose wrote about using her four core values:

"I described my values before as four corners of a picture frame. While I was excavating the real me (and began peeling back the Little Ms. Perfect persona), I used those words to frame situations (relationships, business opportunities, friendships, behaviors) to help me decide what was working and what wasn’t."

I emphasized the Importance of values in repairing and renovating relationships in my blog Relationship Makeovers. 

The Mental Glue is necessary to attach listening, acknowledgment and validation of others to our relationships.

Listening, acknowledging and validating others are not natural responses in relationships.  Because they are so important for creating an enabling satisfying and sensitive relationships, they must be attached to your relationships.

From Ian's Messy Desk, I found this post on Improving Your Listening By Eliminating These Bad Habits. 

Eliminating bad listening habits will enable you and your significant others to feel valued and loved.

Don't forget to use The Mental Glue to repair and renovation relationships.

Remember, You Live within the Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

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