About six weeks ago my wife and I woke up to a cold, snow covered, and sunny day. As we were eating breakfast, she asked me what I saw when I looked outside. I looked at the beautiful yard covered with snow and Lake Huron.
I exclaimed, the water and waves are gone. "No," she said. "I wanted you to see the snow and ice covering the lake".
Our differences in perception amazed me. Then my perception devastated me. Why?
I guess you could say, I had had an Eureka experience. I've always thought of myself as a person who sees life as it is. If you would have asked me, I would've sworn that I look at life as it really is. I really believed I saw life with all of its brilliance and color.
My perception demonstrated that I was not seeing what is present in my life. To my dismay, I was looking at life from what is missing.
I wasn't seeing with my eyes. I was seeing with eyes filtered and dominated by my mind.
It was difficult to swallow. Was I looking at my life from the perspective of what is wrong rather than what is right? Or even more succinctly, was I seeing, hearing, feeling and experiencing life as it? Was I dwelling on what is missing in my life?
As I looked back over my life, I realized I was living in self-deception. I was living an empty life far too much in my personal life. I wasn't enjoying the essence and beauty of my wife and family. I was focusing on what was wrong or missing with my family. I was focusing on what could go wrong. I was ruminating over what went wrong.
In fact and in almost every aspect of my personal life, I honestly discovered I was perceiving what was wrong. When I thought about my health, I thought about what is not working right and what I can't do any longer. I became aware I wasn't focusing and marveling about the wonderful workings of my body and my mind.
I wondered if perceiving life from "what is missing" results in midlife crisis, marital conflicts or divorce, devastation of families, deteriorating health, job dissatisfaction and symptoms of mental distress.
Not seeing the snow and ice on Lake Huron has been a blessing for me. Now I can check myself to make sure I am seeing, hearing, feeling and experiencing life as it is. Life is a lot more exciting to experience what it is there rather than what is not there.
I hope my experience can help you experience the beauty and potential for happiness in your life rather than always finding unhappiness and what is missing in your life.
Remember, We Live within the Environment Created by Our Choices!
Dr. Hal
Life and Mental Fitness Coach
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