A mental fitness solution for anger management was found in an unlikely place. Understanding baseball was the key for setting appropriate expectations; thereby reducing the need for anger management.
His mother was enjoying my conversation with her young son. Finally she interrupted our interchange and suggested that her son talk to me about his anger issues.
Although he has to yet enter his teenage years, he began by saying that he thought he was old enough to start to make his own decisions. He continued
reluctantly to describe his incessant screaming and bugging of his mother. We discovered his anger was triggered, because he could not have everything he wanted.
His mother admitted that he had been overindulged and given everything he wanted. Recently, she has begun to say "no" to him. She confronted her son on not giving her all the information regarding what he wanted. She was very willing to give him the choice to choose which of two things he wanted.
At this point in the interview it was very apparent that the son had an expectation that his mother would give him everything he wanted.
Realizing that he is like a baseball Encyclopedia, I asked him what a batting average was. For information on batting averages consult the Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
He was able to correctly identify what a batting average is and how it is figured. We even talked about the fact that a 300 batting average is a good goal for baseball players in the big leagues. A recent blog on Projecting Matt Murton written by Mike Pindelski on AllCubs.com emphasized batting averages.
I emphasized that a 300 batting average means that a batter only gets what he wants three out of 10 times. Then we talked about his wanting to bat 1000 and have his mother give him everything he wanted. I suggested that his mother wanted him to bat 500.
He understood that his expectations for getting what he wanted were too high. With more realistic expectations regarding gratification of his wants by his mother, I believe his anger will be much less and more controlled.
Even as adults we sometimes have expectations that are way too high for ourselves and our significant others. Are you willing to reduce your anger and disappointments by expecting a reasonable batting average? Are you willing to bat 300 in your personal life? Are you willing to accept a batting average of 300 rather than 1000 from the ones you love? Are you willing to accept a batting average of 300 from those around you at work?
Remember, You Live within the Environment Created by Your Choices!
Dr. Hal
Life and Mental Fitness Coach
Dr. Hal has found that his clients respond very effectively to analogies from the sport's world. Mental fitness training and concepts are easier for people of all ages to integrate and make significant changes in their lives. Sports analogies are extremely effective for children and adolescents, who have played sports.
Wow great job. You are very talented, you can help the children relate to what they know and help them understand. Great work!
Posted by: anger management los angeles | March 27, 2010 at 06:48 PM