Have you ever said "I'm happy", when you really were unhappy? Have you ever pretended to have peace of mind, when in reality you were discontented, detached and disconnected from yourself, your dreams and your significant others?
Have you ever acted like you were free, but in reality you have been wickedly controlled by your fears, and insecurities or insecurities of your significant others? Have you given others the impression that you are in control of your life, when in reality you feel powerless and weak?
Do you think you have been rationalizing and deceiving yourself? Are you really happy, peaceful, free and in control of your life or are you living a life of denial? Is the quality of your life a lie?
I recently talked to a couple of agitated, angry, depressed and confused men, whose drinking has once again alienated them from their wives. They still want to exercise their freedom to drink. They want to be in control of their lives, and they believe their drinking will bring happiness and peace of mind for them, but at the cost of losing their wives.
Many times, I've talked to husbands and wives who have expressed their loneliness, unhappiness and disconnect in their relationships. Although the happiness and other benefits of success have long been gone, they hang on to past connections and memories of happiness. In spite of all their painful connections with their significant others, they stay in these relationships. They still believe they are happier, have more peace of mind, freedom and control of their lives in their empty relationships.
In my last few blogs I have been emphasizing various ways people rationalize, justify and delude themselves by thinking they are happy, living in peace, freedom and control their lives, when in reality their lives are empty, boring, stagnating, and self-destructive.
In my post,Benefits of Success and the Comfort Zone, people rationalize, justify and deceive themselves by thinking they have the benefits of success when they take up residence in their comfort zone and give up up their aspirations, goals and dreams.
In my post, Now and Forever, people rationalize, justify and deceive themselves by pursuing benefits of success in the present, but fail to engaging in activities that will provide the experience of success now and in their future.
In in my post, Usual and Customary Determine Success and the Benefits of Success, people rationalize, justify and deceive themselves by experiencing benefits of success when they have exercised and expressed their natural and familiar thinking and behavior, even though their natural and familiar self-expression creates and escalates conflict with others.
In my post, "Messing Up" and The Pursuit of Long-Range Goals, people rationalize, justify and deceive themselves by failing to experience the benefits of success in the present, because they're so obsessed with establishing long-range security.
In my blog, Short-Term Versus Long-Term Benefits of Success, people rationalize, justify and deceive themselves by having the emotional experience of success, without any substance or long-range benefits of success.
In my blog, Why Do People "Mess Up"?, people rationalize, justify and deceive themselves by engaging in self-destructive behaviors or behaviors that are destructive to others, because they experience momentary and immediate benefits of success.
Finally in my blog, "Messing Up" Takes Away the Benefits of Success, people rationalize, justify and deceive themselves by engaging in activities that provide immediate, illusionary experiences of success while engaging in activities that really will destroy short and long-range success.
Unfortunately, happiness, peace of mind, freedom and control over one's life can reinforce and reward lifestyles that destroy success and the genuine experience of the results of success.
Today, ask yourself if you are on course to really be successful in taking care of yourself by pursuing your dreams? Are you really happy, peaceful, free and control of your life? Have you been rationalizing, justifying and deceiving yourself regarding the quality of your life?
Remember, You Live within the Environment Created by Your Choices!
Dr. Hal
Life and Mental Fitness Coach
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