Hysteria Over Danger

Hysteria over danger is stifling children more than danger!

"Are Risk-Obsessed Adults Paving the Way for Stifled Kids" was a blog written by Alan Miller, who concluded, "it seems to me that we need an injection of common sense and reasoned reflection if we want to avoid the nightmare vision of George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty Four".

If you think Alan Miller was overreacting, see for yourself what he read about in The Vulnerable Persons Bill which was to increase vetting of the UK population including tennis coaches.

Fear-based parenting has insidiously become the model for many parents.  Parents have always had some fear in regard to parenting their children safely.  Parental fears have gone to new levels since 9/11, the Catholic Church scandal, the Amish massacre, and ongoing media reporting of children being abused, kidnapped, or killed.

As a result of the fear-based parenting:

• "Adults are supervising every aspect of children's lives"- Alan Miller;
• "A culture of fear has led parents to restrict their children's independence"- Frank Furedi;
• Children's independent outdoor activities are restricted- Carol Midgley;
• Children do not walk to school by themselves- Frank Furedi;
• Parents don't want their children walking in the woods where they might walk the paths of tick- bearing Bambi's- Judith Warner's article in the New York Times about summer camp- Alan Miller;
• Parents control their children's lives- Paula S. Fass;
• Almost all historians of contemporary childhood, and many other experts from other disciplines, agree that we have come to underestimate the capacity of children, and regulating and monitoring them beyond reasonable or productive levels"- Peter N. Stearns;
• "Is that whatever our children do today, is likely to be supervised and geared toward safety and education"- Nancy McDermott's article, Making Sense of the Mommy Wars;
• "Robbed of the opportunity to grow into independence and responsibility, children never learned to manage risks or use their initiative"- Nancy McDermott;
• Breakdown of solidarity with other adults or a lack of trust of adults- Nancy McDermott and Alan Miller.

I believe:

1. Fear -based parenting will prevent children from self-actualizing and developing their potential.
2. Fear-based parenting teaches children to be fearful and avoidant rather than how to cope effectively with dangerous situations. 
3. Fear-based parenting will teach children not to trust themselves and have confidence in themselves.
4. Fear-based parenting will teach children to not trust others.
5. Fear-based parenting will stifle creativity, spontaneity and independence in children.

I am concerned that fear-based parents who try to control their children are not talking to their children about how to evaluate and cope with dangers and how to overcome fears.  In the days of Sigmund Freud, there was hysteria about sexuality.  In today's society there is hysteria in regard to danger.

Carol Midgley wrote about the hysteria over danger, "It seems that it is their parents’ distorted perception of danger that has increased more dramatically than the danger itself".  She summarized: "Study after study indicates that mothers and fathers are palpably more fearful for their children than they were 30 and 40 years ago".

Dr. Frank Furedi reported: “Although the incidence of child murder by a stranger in Scotland is very low and had shown no change in the past 20 years, 76 per cent of respondents thought that there had been an increase in such tragedies, while 38 per cent believed that the increase had been ‘dramatic’.” 

If the findings in Scotland are also occurring in America, then:  Hysteria over danger is creating more dysfunction in children than danger.

It is self-evident that parents as well as children need to learn how to manage dangers realisticly, allowing for self-actualization of the parent and child.

Hysteria over danger will not disappear and go away by itself.  What can we do in our society to reduce hysteria regarding danger?  What can you do to reduce your hysteria over violence?   What can you do to make sure you're not using fear-based parenting techniques to raise your children? 

Remember, Children Live within the Environment Created by Their Parents!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach